Monday, August 31, 2009

Power Ranger In A lazy Summer, Beaten Up By A Crab

i eat my own shit
it doesn't feels good
don't have a great picture of how hurtful it is
so let it be, like
every going car have a destination if it isn't they wouldn't pass by on the road
wheels representing body they spin, surged by a middle force
and one don't know. Lips are sealed
The stream reach it's skyscraper tower gave an fathomable letters they said "voices prevail"
but whatever the name is we should took over the eyes
Surroundings

Monday, August 24, 2009

Two Mall Securities Stand Around Me When I Open Up This Goddamn Laptop And Writing Things. Maybe They Think I'm Gonna Blow The Whole Mall


It's Ramadhan. means the moslems have to fasting. Have to hold they desire to eat, to hold their lust and many more *like some CD commercials
and every morning the kids around always keep me awake. Like a life-o-walking alarm clock passed in front of your door. Some of them hitting drums, some tambourine, some shouted like "SAHUUUR SAHUUUR~~!", and some put an amount of gasoline in their mouth and burst them upon the fiery torch
Okay i made up the last one
So it's ramadhan some of moslems do fasting and so am i. Keep following the oldies d'oh. So fasting means to hurt your stomach. Keep them empty for a day and make them full before night. That's odd blah. So this is the first time i made a random post since my last friendster blog. So i said a much of "so". So...... ahh cut that crap
I'm writing this on the edge of the world in the most hype place in this whole city and probably where all teenagers in this whole town gathered. Pondok Indah Mall Food Court. I waited for my my meal going down to my stomach so there's some spaces for Quickly bubble whooggle icy drink. Still full and hurts. I'm writing this on the corner of some pillars blah blah
I don't want to go home. I want to go somewhere and spend the night there. Actually i watched a movie at the theater by myself a cool stuff but not the effects G.I Joe i remember when i was little i have them on my toy box they can stick on the big vehicle because they have a magnet underneath the shoes. Blah the film was cool but the effects made it awful. I woke up in the Morning about on 11 (is it morning?) and didn't shower, gone to some university on 3, checking where the Australia embassy is, and get on the Pimmy (cute nickname eh?) on 4:20 and watched G.I Joe on 4:30. Oh My God i can't hold it i want to laugh.
Did i looked like foreigner till someone came closer to me ask for a donation for an orphanage in English? He was like "that's a book if you want to donate for the orphanage.." and i waved my hands and said "No thank you, you don't have the letters said that i have to give you some money" and he smiled and just gone (sounded selfish eh?). I wonder he sneak out on my back and chop me on my back booo scarryyy~~~
lol the mall is about to close. They take the dirty plates. Is it that fast? Oh it's just me
My friends now have some distance with me they have they own business, like GIRLS. Why a girl probably changed one habit? They probably changed in behave and sometime act cool. FINALLY i got my own time for myself this day. I hang out with my imaginary friend haha. My tummy still full and i think i want to force Quickly whooglie booglie bubbles to my tummy before it's close. Blah bye!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

There's Must Be a Reason Why He Dressed Up In White





I really can't concentrate on a thing. Even to reply a short message services from my friend or talk to someone I can't get what they deliver to me and meanwhile I explained something I would stop for a moment and said to myself "what are you talking about?" there would a hollow moment then i forgot about everything. I'm thinking too much about negative things and got frighten for it well. The best thing to do is to face it, a coward runaway from their responsibility. But I really wanted to get a green card and live somewhere on the states and teaching music. Have you ever feel the same way as me? You iron caged by a situation and dilemma while at one side about your own happiness and one side about other's

But I just get back from Bali for a so called vacation. Actually my dad have a congress and some doctors to train there for 3 days so we decided to follow him. We as me and my sister. So the thing I didn't like is my hotel is far from Kuta, and my oldest bro can't join us because he suffers a Jaundice. The good thing if he joined he would do some useless activity which is i like. Rather than sitting and drinking. Come on we can do anything in Bali. I wanted to eat traditional foods, walk along the streets and live like Balinese do. Wear sleeveless shirt and short pants and burnt my skin under the sun. But actually it was fun back then. I learned something from my visit to Bali that I was thinking too much about negative things but doesn't have a great force like I used to before. I was exhausted about university shit and probably i'm planning to get a scholarship abroad

Err do anyone like to play twitter? I've made an account there about a long time ago but I decided to left it because I thought its just for famous people. Well an example if i was following a porn star twitter she would be saying "Cherry Blossom is sucking a dick" yeah I give a shit! I mean come on who wants to know what are we doing in a second unless were a local celebrity. Actually i want to know what my idol doing or said but I didn't get the point. Do they add something to our knowledge? I really wanted to use that thing but still didn't get it what would I do there *giggle. So i'm using Plurk from about June or something in this year lol. Ah it's 1:36 i want to wash my body and go to the theater watching movie. Yet alone again lol. I Haven't get my time alone

Thursday, August 13, 2009

No Need to Think Further to Read This

i let myself falling
sometimes i feel i need to cheer up but i deny it

this is it! *Farah Quinn style *ahem*

I can't fully put my attention into something lately, that's probably the most annoying moment where you was busied with your cell phone and someone is talking with you and they get pissed because you don't listen when they talk, but in fact you type "hey i'm busy catch you later" to your buddy on cellphone. But now my attention is scattered for studying, probability, university, parents, and friends


Do you know how it feels like when you were accused to do something while you didn't do it at all or even you never thought about it? The last time my mom got mad at me and blame me all the way she want. I really wanted to say "Okay mom what do you want to know" i really want her not just get angry every time i want she being my mom. Listened to my problems, my difficulties, and help me to solve the problems. But she treat me like a toddler while she didn't realize why i made that mistakes why i done such thing and why i was acting like that


I'm confused that i was too sensitive lately i touched with a tiny sparks of surprises and simple things


But well i visited Yudha's grave 2 days ago and i wrote something for him. I put it inside a tiny plastic bag to prevent it damaged from the weather. I hope he can open it and read it when the night came and the sun's down and the moon take his working shift. It's a part of The Devil Wears Prada's lyric a song called Louder Than Thunder and then i asked him wether he's fine or not. I said he can visit me anytime. Sure i won't be scared if you appears anytime


And all mixed become one when i was there it reminds me the day when i knew him about 4 years ago he'd asking me to hear a band called Killing Me Inside while the song playing at the MySpace music player. I watched these guys when i attended Java Rockin Land on August 7th there. They played the first three chords of the Tormented. I don't know the chords maybe like D - A# - B# (maybe? hahaha). When that chords played i had a flash of his face and have a clear picture of it. The day when he ask me to came closer while i was busied with my cell phone. On that moment i wished he was there

I'm hoping that he's doing fine there and he isn't need to straighten his hair, no need to flatiron his hair anymore. While me still struggling to get a university in this world

The fact that, i failed again on university test and then i'm sorry Dad, i really really sorry for still haven't got a university while you really wanted me to get a medical program well im working on it. I really wanted to make you happy but remember i never done something stupid or left my education behind. I put education first above all things in my life. I hope i got a university as soon as possible. I'm terribly sorry Dad
. I've put "UNIVERSITY! MEDICAL PROGRAM" in the first list on my head, in last two years

and i learned something from a word called Love because i get into a situation called Jealousy. I am a plain people i'm boring and nothing special about me, i was soaked on a situation where i felt i have nothing to be proud of