Sunday, June 17, 2012


I had a conversation with my mom. Not that often i got this moment with my mom so she talked about something that has been bugging her for several days. She told me that she saw someone i know posted about a little word that suggestively going towards me.
Nothing beats a mother instinct but yeah for this time i was agree with her, and i said yeah i saw that too. She said why does she thinks she hates you? Meanwhile she's not really do why does she makes an anger inside of her while what she gets now is a dull life.
I said i don't really know what been happening lately. But i just know one thing for sure that People always talk shits.
I remember when i was fat and ugly people mocks me all time told me that I'm fat and useless, people can't depend on me, got beaten and i spent my entire teenage years wondering how sad i am to be in this circumstances.
6 years later i made my decision that i want to look fine, get skinny and put some attention to what i wore. So i did. I got a lot of attention that i want, I got the things that i want, and things has never been the same since i was skinnier.
But yeah not a few told me bad things that i looked gay, i looked like some ugly people, i looked like i wanted to hop on rhino's back, or even I'm not that rich so i can't hangout with them.
One thing you can hold on is like i said before people will always talk shit about what you do whether it's good or not. It's your life why don't you do it for things you like and things you want to do.
Do the best for yourself

A Giant Leap

The finals week is getting closer. I'm in the 4th semester of 8 semesters that i have to endure. I don't really enjoy college as i was before. But as i do it, i knew it has to do something to my skills and my future. On the other hand i really want to face the world one on one. Just to see how could the world beats a great dream. Since i believe i can do anything with dreaming.
Nothing is impossible i consider you could be anything you want as long as you do it with a total passion and you love it also
But as i do things little by little why can't i see the way or am i too soon to be better?
or am i just too weak to do the leap...
a giant leap..
who knows

What a Nice Day This Saturday Is

I didn't went out with you that Saturday but you asked me to join you to lunch. What a feeling

Sunday, June 10, 2012

That Corporate Projector Should Be Rolled on The Stones to See The Things Beneath.. Darn Satisfaction

lately i got an unexpected spectator in daily life which is i don't wish to be around for a really long time and slowly wanted to take control of my own free life here...
So i fight back they wouldn't take any control on my own life not even a bit sarcastic and sceptic thing they've been saying.
It was fun at first but knowing it would be in unknown time it'll be interrupt me. It disturbs
Son Of a Bitch my friend...
It's hilarious
drum rolls...
audience applause...

Fuck that celebrity who fuck with that band guy
Fuck the people who just think about their selfes
Fuck the cougars activity that other people's life
Fuck the religion's front that just could do the riot around the globe and ready to die in His way
Fuck the politician who takes the people's money and use it for their own needs and pretend to be crazy in front of people. You deserves hell on earth.
Someone really should burn the bed while he's pretending

You guys should believe there is someone out there that you didn't know really cares about you...
You guys should believe they have feelings
You guys really should got the revenge sometimes
Remember what you always consider was true
karma concept

You did good, then good things come to you and vice versa you did bad and bad things come after you
Just think about what you've been doing were done to you in the exact same way
what would us do?
National lay on bed day?
fuck you
Please, everyone has the exact same fragile feeling as you do too\

ps: This is actually an old old draft but then i decided to post it.

Friday, June 8, 2012

That Particular Monday

A week has passed since that particular Saturday,
I always get out on the exact time to that Particular Saturday get a drink and get back to my class. It was Saturday and i looked all the way across the room from the canteen entrance. She wasn't there anymore for many weeks after that Particular Saturday. I checked the whole campus for every day since that Particular Saturday.
Second week has came and as usual i checked the whole campus also. But no she wasn't there i didn't even see a glimpse of her.
So i do it until the next 6 week.
Yes fool. We all are when in uncertainty.
The 6th week. It was Monday noon, I finished my first class and about to get ready for the next shift it was Software Software Engineering. It started around 13:20 till 17:00. I walked out of the the first class and tried to get a bottle of water. It was hot and there was this fake flash mob dance that made by bvoice radio. A radio station in my campus that streams the radio broadcast analog and digitally so it's accessible through internet. So i was about to get to her, and i pretended to see the dance. But she came closer. So close until i was behind her until her hair could reach my nose. She clearly don't remember me as that guy who stared at her that particular Saturday.
My heart raced and thumping so fast, i got butterflies in my tummy, and my knees are too weak to handle me. But i content myself. I saw her gone back and forth between her seat and where she stood in front of me. I was crazy and i really want to know her name. Just say hi and introduce myself and ask her name it's so simple.
But i didn't do that. What i did next was ran into my class put my bag, and brought my friend and told her that girl i really like was there sitting down there at the campus coffee shop. I sat several feet away from her discussing with my friend how could i get to know her name while she's with her friends.
I was there discussing it with my friend until she got off her seat and walk at some direction.
I popped beside her and i asked her name she was puzzled. I can see it in her eyes. She's shocked
So i just said "May i know your name" she told me her name she gave me her hand and we shook hands.
I was pretending to look cool while inside me collapsing.
I like her hair, i like her eyes.
I like her a lot.
Weeks passed since i know her name i said hi every single time i met her.
I secretly made some moments when i could "fake bump into" her so i could be think that i was around. It was 3 weeks after i knew her name and i asked her number
I'm talking to her as i wrote this blog entry
Things are pretty good, but not as smooth as i expected to...
We're talking about music right now, she's pretty much hearing my bands
Nothing better

That Particular Saturday Evening

It was Saturday noon i was so bored in my class and decided to have a chuckle with my friends. It was a little bit dark since it would rain that Saturday evening.
My class started as usual at 13:20 untill 17:00 I've done some side flips in front of the class, hide behind an acrylic wall and pretend that my friends didn't see me and i saw someone came out beside my class.
It was all in silence. I was in silence my friends in silence... and i remember i saw the girl with short hair and big eye was there walked out her class.
For a moment i thought a while and tried to digest things. It was a moment when one second felt like eternity and i have no idea i dropped my jaw. From that moment i nick her as "that short haired girl"
It was last semester. Odd semester. That Saturday noon

For another passing semester a lot of things had been happening, a lot of things passed, I totally forgot about what had happened that Saturday evening.
Even semester has come and i am a whole new person with whole new mind. I worked on my shy behavior since i keeps me out from growing to a lot of new things. I cut my hair, i shaved my mustache and got a lot of work outs.
It was Saturday morning. I was so bored in my class. My class started from 7:00 and ends at 1:00PM. In the middle of class i got out of class and decided to bail out. It was 11:20 and I felt like to eat something so i get down to the campus food area where i could get some chicken since I'm always in a low fat high protein diet. I ordered 3 boxes of Steamed Chicken Breast to be brought home and eat it with my Paps and Mama. But then i saw this 'that short haired girl' passes in front of me and paralyses while looking at her.
She notices, she took off her thick rimmed spectacles while looking in to the side.
She waved her hair a bit. I can't help but looking at her, I don't want to lose that moment. If i were a camcorder i tried to self erasing my memory and fill it with this moment.
But then i left the food area without giving her another look. And went home safe and sound
I thought to myself again... What was that!
So i got home changed my outfit and go to sleep. I don't even want to eat my Steamed Chicken Rice
I lose my balance of life...
We all do when we felt something out of ordinary aren't we