Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Syllabic Lyrical Lies

I'm in a shock
If the way you choose is to hold grudge then let you be that way
If revenge is your way then let you do

If none of words are to be kept. Any words that have been told turn to ashes
The feeling was a pretension
The words of love never meant to be spoken

A nail caused the same damage on the other side
If you were me. You would have all the answers within
Of course you don't understand
You're not me

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Blue Note

I'm at Palembang. I hate being here i don't know what am i doing here or remember how i ended up here. But I'm here already. I'm going back to Jakarta tomorrow.
Friendly Fires is coming to town, i haven't got the chance to listen to every single song. 17th March is the day they'll come.
I guess this is the second concert i would attend alone. Because I'm still unsure who's the company. I don't know the band until one day my cousin tune the song on. I liked em. That's the way i like music lately liked them immediately.
I have this laziness that kept holding the body down. I wanted to go out wander and get a holiday a long one.

If i pick several days that i should pick that i don't want to forget in case that black guy from Heroes came to me and took my memories. I would definitely pick is the day that i get an Acid LSD for some unapparent reason i can't get off the memory but it always came back to that day. Over and over. Definitely i love that day. But I'm unsure it's healthy or not to keep remembering that day in that way. Keep that day in my head forever even i am wrong.

My heart become a stone cold, i even be afraid of it sometimes. All i want is the thing i want to do. And i would get off everything that been holding me down.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I Made Post When I'm Sad And Lonely. Yes I Am Now

There's one thing in common in all of my posts
I wrote them when there was no one at home or when it's so quiet, and everyone was asleep in their rooms.
That's the feeling of solitude amplified into a bigger complex a bigger thing that some called gloomy
no a guy shouldn't fell into something emotional too deeply

I remember once my brother said "You want to know why i always have a girlfriend? You won't understand you are 17 and you got friends around you. Girls to hangout with every single week and people to talk to every minutes. When people get into university, my age people getting individual. This guy who talks to you during lunch break got a job somewhere, that girl which is your best friend going somewhere far get a good job or simply married. Well there you are alone doing your things. Alone in every week looking people holding hands together, your ex got married, your cousins get married. And yet you are alone. That's why i need a girl"

I kind of thinking what he told was kind of right. I think I'm entering university and I got no friends to talk to regularly anymore, no sudden phone calls, no message on my facebook wall, no text message, no yahoo messenger, msn, AOL... No.
So i started a life with a girl. Yes it was awesome it was a bliss until me myself ended the relationship 2 years later because i want to have my time my solitude time. It's not because i just in time needed the time of being alone. I just don't want to be with her anymore. That's it

My mind has been changing, i tell people my thoughts easily (i just got a dejavu when i wrote that) i get aroused easily, i express myself how i want. I tell things what i want to say. And yes I'm being an ass for some people which i completely aware of. I'm being such an asshole for several people and i enjoyed it. I just don't want the people to act nice to me in which a fake nice

I always been picky to choose a girl. But now i don't really care. She's a bitch, she's no virgin, she's a slut as long i being with her. I would appreciate the company.
I just don't want to fell into a lonely guy syndrome, who likes all girl that been interacting with him.

The highlight of recent things is. Someone has been close to me, i give my time to her, i enjoyed the company but i don't want to open myself to her since i don't really like her for several reason.
I found out my ex now has a boyfriend which was stated "her true love" somewhere.
I found out someone that once i asked to have a coffee with me and have a talk nicely since i really interested with her, i watched concert with her, and i hope that someday she'll manage several things in my life now has a boyfriend without telling me back what time when where we gone to meet.
I found out I'm being individual also. I like being individual but i sometimes wish those eyes around me doesn't giving those looks.

I have a project. Which i believe will going to be huge, and someday will take my name printed everywhere. I'm going to work it off and wave goodbye to all of the things that have been ignoring me

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Serendipity Occurs As One Drop Of White Paint In a Bucketful Black Paint Sank

I've been having a mustache. The long one. The one i could put wax on it to make it always in shape.
I knew the consequences and i knew what would come as i put a mustache on my face. I looked funny and for some i looked ridiculous.
That was the face of late public sudden laughter. That's the face of sudden mockery occurred in at least in wherever i roam and wherever in sight.
You know how the society works, people laugh about the mustache like it was a walking comedy. I know. It's how society works. Like a tiny drop of white paint in a bucketful of black paint.
Like being an atheist in Indonesia. Everyone wouldn't stop to make you like one of them before they see you are being one.
I thought this place is a democratic place and free for everyone to be like what they wanted. Free for everyone to do whatever they like.


No the surroundings wont work that way.
Unless. 
You are the change.
I've shave the mustache. Because i'm bored.
Yeah, i do what always do. I do things when i'm bored. I took the idea into realization. 
The first idea of having a mustache is all because i'm bored and i shave it because i knew how to i look, feel when i have one.
Yes i do have a clean face now. Yes i do get some mockery also. They said i looked gay.


You know that's the way society works in what i learned.
it always talk shits in whatever you do 
it's just how far you can take it.

That's the way society works.
Always talk shits in whatever you do


Don't ever be something you're not
Don't give a fuck to what people say about you
Never be afraid to be true to yourself