Taco and Beans Shake Your Legs Move Your Feet. Would You Say I'm Wacko If Im In?

Life, keep going like it used to be same routine same old shit been going for the whole time
i even have a thought about leap off a building
have you ever think about leap off a building?

It was probably one of a lot of wonderful way to die
you can just close your eyes, feel the wind blowing through your cheek peace and calm for several seconds and then the next thing you remember probably people shouted, because it would hit the ground so fast and strong we wont felt the actual impact on our body. We just
lost, forever

I've been dealing with this bad insomnia for 5 years it's so frustrating when you need to get a lot of energy for going through the day and you couldn't sleep it's just frustrating. When you need some break from the reality. D'oh i thought fool around would help to reduce my boredom and stress. But i found that i was wrong

I kept spinning in my atmosphere, while I'm hoping a change, i don't. Sometimes God doesn't show that he were there. Or he really weren't exist?

Lately my life filled with laughter, loves, and fun but still there's one.. hurt. Lol i don't know how to say, but "It's your life, you should decide what you want, and where it goes" it stands for a lot of things. It's up to you what you suggest me to do? Because it's your life. etc etc...

Then I'm enjoying my chilli beans, with wheat bread, feels like a dream to eat it i even took my papa just to buy this canned bean. Got no money lol

I would try to collect a huge amount of money like $12.000
you know what for! For a car! Mini Cooper well i'll pay half and the rest let my papa do the kung fu with the dealer. I've been dreaming to have that car omg

Oh the last thing i would mention is i have the most likely ignorant face and expression. It probably disturbing my friends and surroundings but i (I'm lost)
Well since the last time i slept was 2 days ago so I'm losing a lot of my attention control. To prevent me going out to the neighborhood and shout "SPARTAAAAAA" maybe i should take a trip to the pillow land <- Classic

The thing is just. I'm tired

Facing a blank typing field felt like decorating the old trafford just using glue and paper
i had that image that it would look dull but i keep doing it. Well in case i could improve it

I Wan't Someone Provocative and Talkative, But It's So Hard When You're Shallow With The Shower and From What I've Heard The Skin You'll Win

Ooh ami l'amour
i was literally laugh and roll over the floor lol. While actually it's a scene from Aladdin when Aladdin talks about a girl he likes to the genie. Here's the videos compilation of the genie's scene. Merci'

Then while you afraid of what the world thinks about you, it's better you afraid of what you think about the world. The world is a pandora box that you decide what it contains, what awaits, what mysteries within. It's you decided what the world is when you think it's wonderful then it's as it is, when you said it's cruel and damned you're true.

All my life i tried to live like i wanted to. I've done anything i want to do and anything i think it's true as long i keep sticking to the manners. Well at least be polite to the oldies, be a good listener to them and obey them. I like being around oldies and talk with them it's fun and at least i can hear a lot of lame stories they've been through. Along the stories filtered the moral message from them and learn the manual guide to live lol

Well lately i found the people i hate the most is the person who have a lot of things in common to me. Same problems, same favorites, and almost the same life. The reason people hates us because they're the biggest fan of us and they doesn't want to show it. Just make it clear, talk, set aside the competition, and self pride

And God creates us with a sophisticated gene codes that brought from your chromosome and genosome codes no one is the same as yourself. You got your own favorites, attention of things, and hobbies that makes you're yourself. Well not all people stupid, you can say they're stupid or not from the way they talks lol i remembered a moment ago i saw TV and a guy talked and i can see he is really stupid lol omg i feel bad but he is an IDIOT lol. When the journalist asked for his comment about the kidney's day he said "Yea it's for the day... The day... What day is this? It's the world's kidney's day? Yeaaaaaah Kidney's day. Drink a lot, and damn the soft drinks! Drink water you'll be healthy!"
Damn i feel pity on him *wipe tears

I don't say I'm stupid i know I'm capable of everything but I'm not interested in some subjects or some thing. Well if i don't like one subject why am i have to know it deeper while i know i wont use it for sometime in the future i mean like i know decorating flowers is hell lotta skill but why do i have to master it? I can great at anything but i can't master everything. I don't want to waste my time to do what actually isn't myself. From now on i decide my own way and no one should take control of my life

lol enough for today's lesson of life. Well my life is kinda frustrating because of one thing lately. It's because MY BLACKBERRY CAN'T BROWSE THE INTERNET DAMMIT! Lol how can i cope of this torture it is miserable how my life going, i guess i'll just cope with the pain and sorrow wrap me keep me from the cold *okay this is over and too poetic lol hahah*
God bless you who read this to very the last line.

I Swear I Saw A Gorilla Playing Guitar There. But The Officer Gave Me A White Connecting Sleeve Shirt

For some certain reason i really don't have any words here but i always trying to write a lot of things that i wanted to share. Actually I've been attracted to new mobile phone from LG mobile called new LG Chocolate, i think it's just cool. The perfect phone for myself, like my own self. Despite of the dash of red over their head and feet. Well i think LG have been developing in these last 2 years. A lot. D'oh i can't help myself from gadgets they are cool stuffs. Gadgets help human life being easier aren't they but i wonder why they are so pricey. Maybe we're buying technology, and researches, hard work from people done the research

SOOOOoooo so so so so so what's in my mind is about emotional bond. So i have a friend recently came to me and shared about her love life soooo so so so so so ill tell you the story in third person view. Let's say there's a girl, and a boy named Billy, and Sarah *common name on your English book

So they were attracted, adore each other. Sarah likes this boy so much for uncertain reason. Sarah liked when Billy around. Call on late night held hand when hang out french kiss hug snuggles. Sarah found it difficult to keep on the track while a void cramped on her bone marrow. She agreed with Bill for keep it as it is. When they said love to each other they trust each other like no one else. They both have angel on their shoulders to keep an eye. Someone to lean on when about to broke without afraid of losing each other.

While they agreed on their uniquely shaped yet unavoidable relationship, Sarah felt something gibberish kept her awaken at night spoke on her ear lead her fingers of touching the numeric keypad. To give a message goodnight while in sudden a message was received while she wrote the new message addressed to Bill

Too bad that message weren't from Bill. Ruined the whole mood to sent a message she cried. Too long then dried until eyelids cover her sight. She thought that she'd better gone sleeping because her dream is better than reality.

She understand the consequences, the disadvantages of her relationship.

No emotional bonds, no secure, no warm hand to held her cheek when she need it
"How a question "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" helps girl from her sorrow

"How an official relationship helps one
"How emotional bond helps one's soul came out from despair, insecure, and inexplicably happiness
"How a word changed one's life

"I LOVE YOU... WOULD YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?"

A Boy's Calculated

How do i have to say...

People became insane because of a person. You came to another town, you got crazy about one, and they will make you insane. You would do numerous reckless things, stupid things, or probably inexplicable cheery behave you done.

A Bond, and a love. Love is something that is unexplainable it's a word express you needing someone physically, emotionally, and sexually. For example I care about my house maid, I like to cook some food, and share it with her. I'd care if she got sick or she cried but i don't want her to hug me or give me some sort of attention.

A bond made by two or more people that united by their affinities. Hundred thousand hours they've spent, gallons of tears they shared, hundred billions money they spent.

Dozens picture frame of their grandchildren sons with their family on back of the seat. They both sat there on their personal labelled couch. A strong bond between each other

My friend once came to me, and asked "Why do my girl always make little things become big, and big things can even going bigger?". I can't explain it too but sometimes what you did and you said seemed didn't really matter were hurt them. I could say being together with someone you should have take it slow. Don't too get high tempered on both of you. Someone must've loose it up. This what called "understanding" needed.

I once read a short story about a girl who complains a lot on her boyfriend

"I hate you! Why did you do all this Cliff! You're a total disaster!

If you're a Math you would got minus 10 for coming to school always messy and ugly. Even when you came here you used that stinky hair wax and it looks awfully cheesy! ANOTHER Minus 10! For making me ashamed in front of a lot of people because you brought me with your old motorcycle and the worst part. I go with it every morning UNDERLINE THAT. ANOTHER Minus 10 for giving me flowers. I don't like flowers! It's so old fashioned! ANOTHER Minus 10 because you're not always available when i asked you to accompany me like the last time to Lisa's birthday it was so important for me everyone was expecting me. Then how stupid i was stood there alone for hours! Waiting for you to pick me up after i CALLED YOU TO PICK ME! AND THE LAST THING Minus 100 for always make me cry and didn't hug me because you're too stupid to calm me down! You're minus 100 out of 10 you know that Cliff!"

I cried all the way with hatred along burns in my chest while i heard someone told me that Cliff came. He gave me an amount of flowers. But i threw it back and i said "It's UGLY! You never understand that I DON'T LIKE FLOWERS!" followed by "Oh one more thing. Don't pick me up tomorrow morning!" Cliff look shocked but the minute later the face mimic became neutral. He went home while looked back at me, sad

I feel so bad, but yet i can't bear the hatred. I continued to cry all night.

Next morning at class Cliff gave me an ugly full smile of him then I turn my face to another side while mumbled in hate. I hate Cliff all the way to the core. I'm so happy now Cliff stay away from me most of the time. But well i still got some disturbance till it's going for 3 weeks. Till Cliff showed up in front of my door.

He said that he must been moved to another town with all his family. Started the next day. Because his dad would been transfered for his work. He told me that how big his love to me but i kept quiet. I hate him so much. The next thing i can't forget till now that he said "But I don't know if can i still love you after all these things you done to me" it made me hate him even more. He thought he can threaten me with that?

Well I'm glad he's gone. So i could gone back lay down in my room. I just want to sleep, and end the day immediately.

I started my first class the morning. Glad i didn't see Cliff on the front row. The chair was unoccupied now.

The bell rang oh i missed something. No one heard my stories before it started. The class started as usual. It keep on going as a routine. I daydreamed, i felt hollow. But i chuckled because he isn't there till then the bell rang for the break time. I still sit on my chair. As usual 5th line 2nd row still staring at the empty chair on my north east. I want potato chips! But nobody bought me potato chips on break time just because i like it. Nobody shared me Coke or Strawberry Fanta just because I like the color. No one walks with me to class anymore. Accompany me on break time just hear my stories. Nobody would take me to somewhere new. No motorcycle roars. No flowers i received. My world spun in sudden like I'm in a bad vertigo. I lost in my own dimension.

Each nights afterwards I keep trying to figure out what i've done. Every single night night for a full three months. But then i realize that i lost him. I wasted him. I really miss him now. I regretted for what i did to him. I really... really missed him.

Oh geez why this happened now. When it was all late, so late.

Then I'm remembering my statements that i said before. One by one and I started to cry. Eventually i cried even harder. Groan like crazy. Then while crying i tried to say

"Minus 10 for using that wax and looked cheesy but PLUS 100 for trying to look good in front of me at anytime! Minus 10 for making me ashamed with your old motorcycle but PLUS 100 you used your motorcycle to pick me up every morning before the school starts while it takes an hour and a half to get here. Minus 10 for giving me flowers but PLUS 100! You saved your lunch money just for brought me flowers which presumably you bring every week and those potato chips, Cokes, or even movie tickets. Minus 10 because you always make me cry and didn't hug me but PLUS 100 you listen. Minus 10 for not being able to go to the birthday party on the other day but PLUS 100 because you always be able to accompany me when I'm in the mood to go out. Almost everyday" .

The tears still streams hard but that doesn't make everything come back.

This tears would not change anything.

A word "Sorry" would be the silliest thing he would heard on these times.

He must been wouldn't forgive me.

Ask him an apology is just late... Too late

I hate myself for doing all of these things. Now most of my body parts were numb because i just had attempted a suicide.

An Offer of Comfort

I read an article about smoking habit about a month ago. It told us about what the worth of a cigarette for a smoker. The article was too long yet boring but i hope i got something make sense there. But i did found something interesting that said "No one ever grown up so we need cigarettes the same as when we need suck our thumb when we're still little". Well it makes sense, and I'm glad to see that word.

First of all people gets old they really do. Physically, wrinkles, rubbery skin, shaky voice, Mind, and behave. How old they become 50 years 75? 80? Hundred years? We still saw them cried.

Crying is a natural act. A relieve for people when they can't bear like how sad they are. How pissed. How fed up. How great their lost. How the way they've been survived. How touched they look at poor people or how happy they are they might be cried. Everyone will come back to their childhood when they felt an enormous disturbing feeling.

A 52 years old comic collector, a 25 years old candy addict, a 32 years old hardcore gamer. Robotic and technology is just a few example of developed toys". It suited for their ages. How smart people can be, how clever they are measured by degrees, and education title, how mature they become a constant law: Less dynamic they will become. No Matter how old we are, we still have childish side of us. "Sometimes the key of being success is just keep childish" - Paul Arden

Sometimes i heard people telling positive thoughts. Telling that they are strong insisting that they are sad. But it was contrasted by the sincere feeling. Sometimes it's just corroding, grind, pound, slice, painful. But what can we do? Angry? To whom? People pray. Like "The Secret" book which recently overheard telling us that the power of mind really affect life. So keep it positive. In the end, when we can't cope it, we innocently said "God, please help me, i need a shelter, a place to seek for comfort"

A dotties for a baby, an offer of comfort, an endless open field, an alternative way to run, a bad day, a big failure, lottery lost, withered dog, bad score for today math paper, unbearable nervousness, deadlines, farewells, goodbye waves, great lost, a big playground, a christmas present, dying mom, a shock after an accident,terrible mistake we done

Sometimes we just need a hug

Oh i saw my auntie hugs a polar bear doll just now :)

あの。。。キッスして

“ I feel bare when your hand is not in mine,

I felt lost when I seek for your hand and can’t catch it”

Goose Neck? I Know That Prevent Bacterias!

Please, the doors always open even when i close my eyes from whatever happening
i beg you please i want to hear the sound of your voice, the laugh, the sound of your breath, kiss my eyes before I'm lost, and feel your fingers on my palm

But the truth is, i can't reach you now...

I can't hold any longer, my eyes are about to close. But remember the doors always open even when I'm lost. Please give me a chance for the last time. I want to hear the sound of your voice. Before i close my eyes.