Grown Ups

Day 9201,

I realize life not just like or dislike someone or things.

Being nice or not to people,

or acting nice.

Being happy is just being around your family 

or just playing video games with your siblings.

I realize there is evil.

Something or someone that shows you that terror is apparent 

and it was real.

I realize hating the past and getting upset about what the things you should have done or the things that you shouldn't makes no point.

It's just inevitable.

You realize that bad people did bad things to you and all you can do is just... Preventing it to happen.

Sucks it is

Stiff Neck Has Led Him Into a Worser Transformation. We Need to Stop Him From Killing People.

I fisted my wall over and over. 

It hurts

It hurts so much that it bled a little on some knuckles.

It's the sign that I'm alive.

Alive and well.

It's been a little too much imagination.

I don't know which are real which are fiction.

It's been a terrifying moment in my life. But yet, I've never been so much better.

It's been a bad hangover

and i want to fully wake up.

It's been a chaotic occurrence

and it's time to wake up. 

Relevancy Goes Through our Veins While Everyone's Heading to That U.F.O. Unbelievable

Things corrodes inside my body slowly destroys it into matter.

Crashes into smaller particles, explodes, vanishes.

Things, stirs emotion. 

Touching the very deep part of the emotion itself.

Twisted.

Things, has going on inside. While it was okay, i keep wanting more than this.

More than this. There is a place where i can feel life is more alive where life is less lifeless where my eyes to be more alert to everything that revolves around.

Life is where we make money, get a lot of it, and take the rest of our life to spend it off. What's the point of making a lot of it and spend it later. It's like you binge eat in the morning and decide don't take anything until the moment you close your eyes. 

So where are we going when we are working? 

What are we trying to achieve?

What is the ultimate goal?

The recognition of the yourself is the ego.

Recognition, like an elephant with their tusk, tigers with their pattern.

The recognition of the hard work is.

When we give something to our work, that's when we get something from the art itself.

The art of indirect interaction.

Action - reaction.

Random Blabber

Yet another obstacle occurred. Sometimes when people took me half hearted, i prove them wrong.

I'm stuck in the middle between work and hobby. I don't think hobby and work does not get along fine. It should be somewhere we found it collides in harmony. Where we admire the joy of doing something we love and people appreciate.

Does it something unreachable so it's so hard to get into it? 

At most point of my life i don't want to do anything beside playing drums. I love to play drums. It made me forget about all things. It made me feel good. Feel that i was alive and well. A feeling that you can not exchange with something. I don't care if it hurts my fingers because i can put any bandage on my finger and keep playing. I love the feeling of hitting the drum and gets a sound, vibration feedback from it. I don't want to do anything beside drumming.

But the problem is everyone thinks it's a hobby. Can i just make it a business where i can keep on playing drums and people appreciate it?

Or make a band and trying to meet several people to do it.

I'm in the process to find the perfect people to do music. 

Or. Only if only i could. I should do it by myself!

Man that's the greatest idea alive!

Man i gotta work on something!

Royal Rumbles

Cherish and laughter in a distance slowly fades
An inevitable collision between desire and require

Kno wut, you guys shoudn't like hoping about something to always be in some way. I mean your parents doesn't live a thousand years and those love songs that you've been dropping tears on wouldnt get you anywhere in your life.

No! Feelings doesn't rot your heart out it doesn't have that itch in your chest while you love someone. It doesn't make your tummy hurl and butterflies got frenzy in it. Yeah, it's all a lie that you've been wanting to hear , watch, and see on the television.

The fuck people i know they complicate things like that shit on their face wouldnt shut the fuck up. Like i mean come on this life is complicated enough don't complicate shit like every fuckin time you open that shit on your shitty face. Yea nigga just wouldn' shut the fuck up.

I've been through some shits and let me tell you this "YES LIFE IS NOT FAIR SO FUCKIN' DEAL WITH EVERY FUCK IN IT" yeah it feels great to get my rage on this fuckin literary on whe web. I mean like get your shit together, work yourself on that and be a better person rather than whining that you have got that negativity mindset in your mind and even you're born with negativity. Shit just got real eh?

Grudge? No it isn't healthy. So fuck it! I mean like if you want to smoke weed your whole life then smoke it! Fuck everything that doesn't allow you to. You want to play game your whole life? Some company pays you to. Get on with it dipshit.

Happiness, glittery eyes, and that smile.

Things are different now
It's not that glittery eyes has made me fall 
It's the reason beyond. The ego

The happiness within the self pre/post interactivity between a living matter, an action, and the self.

Happiness is not a destination. Rather than a shift of the mind  that you suffer.

Son of a bitch

Trouble Sleeping. That's Like My Middle Name

I learned a lot for being positive by any means.
It means to keep smiling, to keep feeling alright.
Even the slightest sadness doesn't need to be present.

I learned a lot that a happiness came in a shape that i don't even expect. It came in any shape that so beautiful even that i want to protect it no matter what happens.

I learned that there's no need to be exaggerating little things for it become a big obstacle. It makes me and the people around me feels bad. It puts people into hard position.

I learned that i don't need to take everything seriously. I just need to follow my heart, my dreams, and my will to do the things i want and it will be so much better when you met someone that really appreciate your goals, support you no matter how bad it is or how impossible it is.

I learned that i need to stand on my ground and trust the people that can be trusted. If you found someone that can be trusted, never lose faith on them. If someone lets you down one time, there will be the thousandth time.

I learned that the more i live my life, the less i wrote about this blog. I keep this blog as a journal. I was sad every time i wrote a post in this blog. But i don't feel that sad more often. I do want people out there that doesn't even interact with me read this journal and felt the change of the way they are thinking. I want to know that. And i know that i can't stop writing when i do it.

I don't know where to stop. So i always end it like this.
:)