48

It's been a day that i havent got any sleep. The last second ticks just about time, like it aways do, like it suppose to.

It's been too many movies i watched and too many politics going on the movies. 

Then i got out of my room and go to the kitchen to fry and egg. 

The news is on about a nuclear war. I just can't tell which one is true or which one is not. Is it a fact or a fiction?

Should we live on fear

Or we fight against it

Speaking of fear there is a first on everything. You fear of getting to know that cute girl on the corner and you can just conquer you fear and say hi and go talk to her. The first time won't be easy you sweat you trembled but you will get used to it when you make it like it's not a big deal. Life is about learning and you should widen your comfort zone.

And the ultimate question in life is do you want to leave a mark, a dent in this earth like an elephant with his tusk, a tiger with their skin? If you are agree with that you need to make your own tusk. The tusk that is so beautiful and it will be a legacy. Every person is amazed by it and that's how it goes because you don't have a tusk, you need to think what tusk that is worth leaving to the next generation. I think that is the ultimate answer to the purpose of life.

The Art of Peace In A Yellow Cover

"The smell of roasted beans, and artificial daylight
a sip of a coffee and a puffy eyes
finger on the aluminium keyboard and mind on the universe

What would i eat for lunch today?
Why am i sleepy?
Why do i have to stuck and sit here till the end of the day?"

Work

Why do we work? A simple question to the sophisticated universe system. 
Why do people work? What's the ultimate goal? 
Is it a new kind of devotion that been keeping people sane
That keeps the world going like it used to
is it a system that keeps the engine rolling and makes everything in the world to function like it has to.
or is it a system that naturally started by humans to evolve, survive, or simply to be a better human being.

But what makes us keep working?
Comfort? 
a strive for perfection? 
Acknowledgment?
money?
Most of the people proud of working in some certain company because of it's name
but why?

Or is it because it looks like you are guaranteed on your welfare, people look up to you and think that you get plenty of money.

The ultimate goal of happy living is you are well fed.
I had that conversation with my old man some time in the past. My whole life was about my parents. I wanted to make them happy, i got into the major that my dad wanted me to be and he found out that i've been doing this for them. He told me that i don't need to do that.
Why? Because the measurement of happy for them is that I've got no difficulties to keep on going with life. I didn't get difficulties on getting the needs for my life 
"In the end of the day, you are the one that is going to live your life. So I've been worrying how would you carry on when I'm gone".

So as long as you can live, you are fine. You get money, you get rich is the privilege of doing a good job on your work.
But the meaning of working is still a mystery. But i know, the moment we stop ourselves from going to work is the time when a part of the world's spur gear fell and need to be put immediately back again.
It's a system that keeps all the money going all over the world. The business keeps going, the boxes being delivered, the crops are being processed, and you got to get your ingredients for your dinner this evening.

Stumbling Upon Old Posts

I was browsing through my old social media posts and i found mysef a lot of laughter. 

I don't remember i was that sarcastic with a twist of satire humor. 

There was a lot of laughter browsing through random self monologue and punny joke. 

I don't care when people doesn't understand what the joke is. But i love posting random things.

I think it's a process where i can be reminded of who i am and what i was. 

It's not a backward process but i think it's an important thing to keep reminding yourself of who you are and not lost in the digital realm of growing up. It gets into your real life and makes you a real bitter individual when the part of you that had been accepting the grown up you.

It gets really bitter when you hold on to the value of works and interaction between you coworker that you've been holding up high turned downhill and these people told you "it's just the way it is used to" and your standard degraded.

It feels like you are convincing people that you are not lying when people say that you are a liar. Nobody believes you since they accused you and they don't want to listen to you. Yes, bad system destroys good people. And your system is chaotic. You never be on top.

Aruba Cannon Ball

Life just went downhill from here 

And from now on it is not going to get better

Yet...

Grown Ups

Day 9201,

I realize life not just like or dislike someone or things.

Being nice or not to people,

or acting nice.

Being happy is just being around your family 

or just playing video games with your siblings.

I realize there is evil.

Something or someone that shows you that terror is apparent 

and it was real.

I realize hating the past and getting upset about what the things you should have done or the things that you shouldn't makes no point.

It's just inevitable.

You realize that bad people did bad things to you and all you can do is just... Preventing it to happen.

Sucks it is

Stiff Neck Has Led Him Into a Worser Transformation. We Need to Stop Him From Killing People.

I fisted my wall over and over. 

It hurts

It hurts so much that it bled a little on some knuckles.

It's the sign that I'm alive.

Alive and well.

It's been a little too much imagination.

I don't know which are real which are fiction.

It's been a terrifying moment in my life. But yet, I've never been so much better.

It's been a bad hangover

and i want to fully wake up.

It's been a chaotic occurrence

and it's time to wake up. 

Relevancy Goes Through our Veins While Everyone's Heading to That U.F.O. Unbelievable

Things corrodes inside my body slowly destroys it into matter.

Crashes into smaller particles, explodes, vanishes.

Things, stirs emotion. 

Touching the very deep part of the emotion itself.

Twisted.

Things, has going on inside. While it was okay, i keep wanting more than this.

More than this. There is a place where i can feel life is more alive where life is less lifeless where my eyes to be more alert to everything that revolves around.

Life is where we make money, get a lot of it, and take the rest of our life to spend it off. What's the point of making a lot of it and spend it later. It's like you binge eat in the morning and decide don't take anything until the moment you close your eyes. 

So where are we going when we are working? 

What are we trying to achieve?

What is the ultimate goal?

The recognition of the yourself is the ego.

Recognition, like an elephant with their tusk, tigers with their pattern.

The recognition of the hard work is.

When we give something to our work, that's when we get something from the art itself.

The art of indirect interaction.

Action - reaction.