It Won't End Here. But Somewhere Around That Sea

It's been a little while since the last time i wrote in this blog

well... I didn't write this blog as often as i was before

It's been a really long journey I'd been cruising with someone i know really close

i really enjoy the company but it was me that doesn't want co pilot for a moment

that's the short story

The long story started from the day i was tangled with college life, the hectic, and madness. In college life it was different, a whole new thing from a place where we used to go every morning and got nothing from the whole day as we known called "school". Where the pupils are more clever in scribbling table than their book. Where all you can think is going home.

College is a whole different thing, it's all up to you. It's all depend on you. You want good scores? Study hard. If not, never miss class and talk with your friends. It works well for you

I gone to gym lately, i entered the gym as slinky guy, and 3 months later i got bigger and healthier. I got muscles here and there, and i looked better. The reason i hit gym was because when i was highscool i hit 91 KGs and 2 years later i ran around my complex every single morning and in a strict diet. Which is wrong. I reduce my intake so obviously i thought it'll totally drain my weight a lot. And it did! The good news. But in the bad news when i was reducing my intake, i got less energy for my body to carry on the day. I got this situation where you feel not strong enough and you would easily faint yourself. It wasn't good I'm telling you. I have no clue why people reduce their intake, and they purge it all where do they get the energies? How could they think? Where's the nutrition? How their hormones work?

I really don't get it

And i wasn't in a relationship anymore it's not that i found someone new as listed in my Facebook i was in a relationship with Rossie Huntington-Whiteley. But things were different, i want nothing to consider when i was studying, i want nothing to consider when i was having fun or let my thoughts flew. I want my own space for no apparent reason. I want all the feeling i used to feel, the thoughts i used to think, and i want my personal space expanded throughout the globe. I want it selfishly. But it was at first when it all happen i thought it was just me that feeling that way. But my significant other told me the same thing. That she would do the same thing to this relationship. The difference was just timing. I did it sooner

This is briefly the longest ever I've been in a relationship. I don't think i could do the same thing like this twice. I might be fooling around, with some girls, have fun, and enjoy the every bit of my youth. I believe this time wont come back. So i lived my life to whatever state i entered. I took it to the level where people don't enjoy them as much as i do. I appreciate little things, I put attention to details, and i met new peoples. I smile very often. This break up wasn't easy. But i know i will gone through it

I believe the people around me, i met, i love, i care about, i know, i didn't were the people who make my personality this way. Those are the people who make me a person. The people that make me Marco Adriaansz as Marco Adriaansz itself

Try Me and You'll Know Who's Better At Stalking Each Other

I got my friend on my side for a walk

instead of taking her to nice dinner, i took her to the art exhibition

at first she told me that she is eager what to see there

but i know it's not her thing to see this kind of show

i notice her slight face changes

here..

there..

and she started to complain how bad this painting, and how weird that sculpture is

she keeps talking about how we could just had a wine and talk about what's new or talking about beautiful things

but then she can't take it anymore so i she wanted to go to a coffee shop afterwards which i did

i see discomfort and disappointment drawn on her face

she looked like a cracked dam that just need a plunge of force to the crack and be pouring

she started will "Well, ..."

and she continue with complaints after complains of the unfortunate

The thing is, it's about how people remember, memorize you, keep you in mind

you don't have to be perfect to cause a change to someone's life

you don't have to be that formal to be attached to someone's thought

a weird lyrics that make you feel funny because they seem been forced to be there

a weird note on a song

how bad a band is

and how perfect you make a song

Do all the things that you feel like you need to do

Is makes you what you are, and the way is to show them what are you made of

show them how epic the theatre of your mind

i believe you'll do so

Sincerely, me

Beads down the stream of eye

It's excruciating how i see your pics and you remind me of every single piece of myself

i can see my face in your face

and how people say we look identical

how the kisses was just memories

and caress might just pass by

secrets and lies

complains and argues

How the hugs occurs for a moment

and taken away by the time itself

bed time talks

good mornings on my eyes

morning meal together

Trips and plans

butterfly and kite

that house

on a hill

silent..

and peaceful..

might be realized

whoever it is

So long..

Smithsonian Red Flags for One White Turkey Bottle

I don't have any interest into fashion and not having the extra money to
i think what looks good is when i saw the mirror and everything looks safely collided
i like to use jeans the heavily ripped one and repaired skinny jeans that comfier after i'm joining gym
i thought i've passed just fine but i didn't i failed in one of my subject

I thought i've given all i got but i didn't
all this time i didn't do it for myself, i'm doing it for somebody else
that's where i think there's a weight obliged to me

Sometimes i wonder to myself why can't i get a good score, doing just fine at school, and get semester fee discount. I have no fucking idea as i grumbled like oil on water
why can't i be more how much effort that i should put into till i'd be just fine
i remember that time i'm looking towards my lecturer his voice filling the room he mentioned about integrals and differentials, but the voices in my head were louder

I can't help my mouth saying random things to my neighbor just a chit chat and chuckles, one chuckles and i realize my smile curve has straighten up as i heard the voices from my lecture going towards me and hand me a black Snowman marker he said

"Solve the third problem"

i nodded i asked the person in my back to quick taught me on that number. As he explained i catch just a stutter of what he mean, what it suppose to understand and i hate myself more. But then i doesn't last long, i manage understanding that more and go to the board wrote it up.

Expert said "People will be happier if they put their effort towards easy things that they like, that made studying even more fun because they put no effort on liking it, but concentrate on making it better" kinda make me rethink about possibilities. I always like to fix things i like to make things better

I do thought about being a music producer but i was wrong. I do think that music is my passion but it sometimes can't beat the feeling of owning something new, some toys, new present, new car, new earrings, new bag, new bike, new mobile phone, new technology.

I paddle the chair mated with cycle cardio exercise tool, i read my eBooks. TVs and other almost 20 to 30 same thing surrounds me, the TVs showing news MTV and other informative channel. I saw a girl behind me and i wonder what does she think when she ran, does she thinking the same thing as me like manage breathing, add more speed or thinking about the show that Star World showing “Don't Stop Believing" and never ending choir singing in my head every time i saw that title. But i know what i will do, i always know it will happen. If my friend said "Don't worry to dream big because God heard" i'd better say "Don't worry to dream big, because when you dream, your every action leads you toward that dream" hmm fair enough.

I know that someday there will be an Electronic Device company that delivers the originality, characteristic, that will represent it own brand. Like when i said Sony you will know how Sony's electronic devices shaped. It's obvious like my mom knows the difference between Hermes bag and YSL. They both bag but there must be a characteristic at each bag. I know that the multinational company will grow and will be big. Mostly i want it to represent Indonesia. It will be a challenge at that day to grow a product that fulfill the nationwide need of electronic appliances and yet still have it's own superb quality. Damn sick!

I know someday i will laugh about this writing, but someday i will know that this is the start of big things that will happen. Please smile, and enjoy your time. Remember to sip some tea, and enjoy the quality of your morning pancake

Sincerely, younger you