I was lost and now i am found

Hey there,

It started when i was so lost. I wanted to get along fine with myself more i quit my job, do something else entirely different and let go of the things that been holding me down including something or someone. It started with letting go of the things that makes me comfortable. Getting constant money from it and doesn't do something else than working. Well yeah it was weird for me you work all your life and spent the hard work later on when you are 60, what are you going to do when you are 60 with that plenty of money and where were you as long as 22 - 59? So that was when i decided to say fuck it and let go the most important thing to keep on surviving and that is money source. I said i quit on that particular afternoon in a coffee shop and at the same time indirectly said to the boring routine, stress, peer pressure, and office politics. It was a brief moment of silence. I was in shock, and my boss too. He sat there like about to open his mouth to make things straight with that look that signaling that he knows that this isn't personal but he can't insist me to stay either and then he gave me a week off before the designated date and i kept being paid for the rest of the month.

Second thing i did was letting go of the people that been slowing me down. Holding me down from the things that i want the most and instead they are driving me towards fulfilling theirs I'm not going to tell you that was easy but it should give you more peace of mind and the most important part is, you get to do what you love without someone telling you not to do it. I think this is important because you need positivity, and you should surround yourself with those who are positive as well. In that way you are going towards the best things in your life.I got to tell you that this is the best things in YOUR life because all the best things in life is relative to the individual. 

The third thing i did was doing the thing that I've been wanting to do and i wished i had time to do it. Yes now, i got time and money in my hands so i decided to do what i wanted to do and put money aside for a while. So i decided to take a Barista Certificate. Which is truth to be told totally different from the things i used to do. I learned new things, i was treated like how house maid been treated on, and that was a new kind of experience that let in in my life.

The philosophy behind it is like i used to swam against the current and resisting hard the where it takes me to, but now I'm doing the opposite. Instead of I'm doing what "it should have because that is what used to happen down here" into "oh ok great! Let's see what life brings into me after this" kind of behavior.

Let me tell you the things that I've been doing this last 6 months. I'm living on 1/10th cost of my usual monthly cost it's not beacause I'm being hard on myself or i starve to death to save those money. But i think it is enough to keep me live a healthy life and keep paying those cups of coffee that I've been spending to keep myself awake through those deadline catching nights. And also movie tickets for date night! Wait... Oh yes that, i met the one when i was doing what i always wanted to do. She's funny, she made me laugh, she's beautiful, and made me having this somekind of weird amnesia that there is always been a better looking woman out there but no, i want this woman. This woman is the kind of woman that you met and you knew and sure that everything is going to be alright with her. And you don't want anyone messes around with her so what i did, i told her that she is the one after a week of dating, and propose her the next month. Ain't you surprised on what live takes you to the things that you always wanted to be?

I'm doing design business which is what i always wanted to do too!

Now I'm living my dream. I always wanted to be like this. If my 17 years old see me where i am going to be in 10 years, he would be shocked in disbelieve. But remember it's not because you are not fortunate enough to chase something. But i think you should do what you love where you can't stop doing it and work your way up through there to the with a commitment to say yes to where the life brings you to, keep it true to your heart don't ever hear the logical thinking of yours. If you think too much about it and making excuses about  why you are going to do it, you "might" be in the wrong decision. The route that your heart choses might be not the best logical way to solve the solution but once you follow it, you will be so happy because yoi are doing what you want not what you need to do.

See, i was lost but now I'm found.

The therapist and the man laying down. She made him confess about a lot of things.

When you lose your grasp on your possession, you lose your reality.

And when you lose your reality, you become crazy.

Some people is not acting like you wanted to and you can't control it. Listen to me carefully they were there not going to hurt your feeling. They were there just because they are. God created them just for a sign that you are not going to act that way. They were an example of good or bad or ugly. An example of what you could have been if you lose yourself and not turn yourself into positive thoughts.

Gettin' It Werk

Moving forward so fast that you forget to take a break and enjoy the view.
The air breeze on my cheek, caressing, loving sun ray bathe my skin, and the roar of the beastly machine.
There were some times that i forget if this real life or am i hallucinating.
The sign of living is just simply breathing
and breathing is the only thing you need to live
to be alive
life is simply about being alive and you make a big fuss about it.
Wind noise, motorcycle passing down the street, that throttle i pushed down to the limit is the sign that i am alive.

human are organic, machine is the beast.
human create the machine
then who is the evil

Polaroid Monochrome film 600 and the front gate

Those flames

Old fire

Ignites

Rapidly

That it spreads like a wild fire 

Hound Dog fights in the corner of the road and i was standing right in the middle

It's so wonderful to know that there is a single person acts, thinks, talk, throwing jokes exactly like you do

They responds to things just like how you want they to

They react and loves you just as much as you do to them

How amazing if that someone is happened to be the one person that you want them to look like

It feels unreal

It feels right

It is unbelieveable

48

It's been a day that i havent got any sleep. The last second ticks just about time, like it aways do, like it suppose to.

It's been too many movies i watched and too many politics going on the movies. 

Then i got out of my room and go to the kitchen to fry and egg. 

The news is on about a nuclear war. I just can't tell which one is true or which one is not. Is it a fact or a fiction?

Should we live on fear

Or we fight against it

Speaking of fear there is a first on everything. You fear of getting to know that cute girl on the corner and you can just conquer you fear and say hi and go talk to her. The first time won't be easy you sweat you trembled but you will get used to it when you make it like it's not a big deal. Life is about learning and you should widen your comfort zone.

And the ultimate question in life is do you want to leave a mark, a dent in this earth like an elephant with his tusk, a tiger with their skin? If you are agree with that you need to make your own tusk. The tusk that is so beautiful and it will be a legacy. Every person is amazed by it and that's how it goes because you don't have a tusk, you need to think what tusk that is worth leaving to the next generation. I think that is the ultimate answer to the purpose of life.

The Art of Peace In A Yellow Cover

"The smell of roasted beans, and artificial daylight
a sip of a coffee and a puffy eyes
finger on the aluminium keyboard and mind on the universe

What would i eat for lunch today?
Why am i sleepy?
Why do i have to stuck and sit here till the end of the day?"

Work

Why do we work? A simple question to the sophisticated universe system. 
Why do people work? What's the ultimate goal? 
Is it a new kind of devotion that been keeping people sane
That keeps the world going like it used to
is it a system that keeps the engine rolling and makes everything in the world to function like it has to.
or is it a system that naturally started by humans to evolve, survive, or simply to be a better human being.

But what makes us keep working?
Comfort? 
a strive for perfection? 
Acknowledgment?
money?
Most of the people proud of working in some certain company because of it's name
but why?

Or is it because it looks like you are guaranteed on your welfare, people look up to you and think that you get plenty of money.

The ultimate goal of happy living is you are well fed.
I had that conversation with my old man some time in the past. My whole life was about my parents. I wanted to make them happy, i got into the major that my dad wanted me to be and he found out that i've been doing this for them. He told me that i don't need to do that.
Why? Because the measurement of happy for them is that I've got no difficulties to keep on going with life. I didn't get difficulties on getting the needs for my life 
"In the end of the day, you are the one that is going to live your life. So I've been worrying how would you carry on when I'm gone".

So as long as you can live, you are fine. You get money, you get rich is the privilege of doing a good job on your work.
But the meaning of working is still a mystery. But i know, the moment we stop ourselves from going to work is the time when a part of the world's spur gear fell and need to be put immediately back again.
It's a system that keeps all the money going all over the world. The business keeps going, the boxes being delivered, the crops are being processed, and you got to get your ingredients for your dinner this evening.