Beauty Only Skin Deep When You Shallow With The Shower

Life turn around and had a really hard bank up overnight. No more sad stories since me and my new buddy had a chit chat about the social pattern between men and women. Now, I've been meeting this 3 different lovely girls. One thing they have in common, short Hair.
I am more well determined, i will chase my dream and really focus towards there. Well, It'll be really fun if someone can give me support, back rub, praise
Would you be the one?
:)

Should I Listen To Your Command? Should I Understand?

I have to completely honest to myself why should i have to be so shy. It keeps holding me back from being a better person. But i will work on that sure soon i'll be happier with myself.
I don't know if i saw a really really attractive girl and should i went to her and ask her her name? That's actually my last option some people consider that as impolite wtf? So what should i do? Take off my shirt and dance? Or be like "Hi cutie what's your numbah? and she crashed her car and died. I saw a really cute girl i have a thing for a tan and slim girl and short haired girl. Well short haired girl is always be my weakness for all this time it always catches my eyes.
Speaking of catches my eyes. My pupils are dillated now and i seem lost my shyness for a while with a help of my favorite thing "cannabutter" it helps a lot. I just made some lately and it tastes bliss. I dunno maybe i shouldn't write my things here but i don't have someone to talk to anymore, somewhere to write down things, something that i could trust. Phew i guess when life hits you hard you could just say "fuck you life" and it keeps going to be better.
I know my dating life and stuff doesn't work well i think because it is not meant to be working or am i making it to be like that. But who knows. I can't decide what should happen but i can make things work the way i wanted to.
I should've love myself more probably.
keep dreaming keep writing

It's Just An Invitation For A Lunch. Not Trying To Take You From Your Spouse

I had some short term memory loss. The real one. The one you can't remember what you did like Tom in 50 first date "Hi! I'm Tom" take care of yourself Tom. Listening to the whole album of Lana Del Rey, i don't really like the darkish atmosphere she brought along but every time i hear her songs always take me back to around 60's atmosphere sophisticated, classic, and with a mix up of modern thumping beats. I've been listening to Lana Del Rey for this last week not because i can't pass a day without listen to her songs but i have no more good songs to listen to.
I always put my mask to make people look to the good side of me but i think again why should i? Why should i make things harder if i could make it easier. Son of a bitch it collapses all purposes
I burned out my daily journal guess i wont be looking any further for a writing space I'm going to write all the things that I had been thinking, wondering, doing and all of my subconscious will me poured in here.
I'll be back to write things for my own pleasure. I love writing things to i even wanted to be a writer once since most of the people said so. So i thought "Why not?"
Talking of random things, i actually had been thinking for a while of why am i always ran out of luck? Why does most of the time luckiness wasn't on my side. Sucks? Yes. That is a darnful thing that you can't get what you want but yet you don't always get what you want. I'd rather live my life dangerously than feeling settled and safe the all time.
I just made another cannacake and it's been quite sometime I don't use it anymore. It feels bliss but not as fun as i can remember or i forgot how it was actually felt. Yeah this is the leftover effects. I'm not really in a good mood but not sad also. I even write this down while smiling. 
I should apply my visa geez procrastination always occurs in some time we don't really need it's how we fight our self back or you are beaten up by yourself. You choose.
I guess I'm too tired remembering that i will be on a Compact semester in a few days. I haven't got a chance to rest well and enjoy my vacation. I hope i could do all the things i want and gather the energy to.
keep dreaming, keep writing


Song of the day: Unrequited Love - Lykke Li
I love this song but i just discovered how sad this song was. I lipsync to this song while smiling and replicated Jesus statue in Brazil

Aftermath

I had a conversation with my mom. Not that often i got this moment with my mom so she talked about something that has been bugging her for several days. She told me that she saw someone i know posted about a little word that suggestively going towards me.
Nothing beats a mother instinct but yeah for this time i was agree with her, and i said yeah i saw that too. She said why does she thinks she hates you? Meanwhile she's not really do why does she makes an anger inside of her while what she gets now is a dull life.
I said i don't really know what been happening lately. But i just know one thing for sure that People always talk shits.
I remember when i was fat and ugly people mocks me all time told me that I'm fat and useless, people can't depend on me, got beaten and i spent my entire teenage years wondering how sad i am to be in this circumstances.
6 years later i made my decision that i want to look fine, get skinny and put some attention to what i wore. So i did. I got a lot of attention that i want, I got the things that i want, and things has never been the same since i was skinnier.
But yeah not a few told me bad things that i looked gay, i looked like some ugly people, i looked like i wanted to hop on rhino's back, or even I'm not that rich so i can't hangout with them.
One thing you can hold on is like i said before people will always talk shit about what you do whether it's good or not. It's your life why don't you do it for things you like and things you want to do.
Do the best for yourself

A Giant Leap

The finals week is getting closer. I'm in the 4th semester of 8 semesters that i have to endure. I don't really enjoy college as i was before. But as i do it, i knew it has to do something to my skills and my future. On the other hand i really want to face the world one on one. Just to see how could the world beats a great dream. Since i believe i can do anything with dreaming.

Nothing is impossible i consider you could be anything you want as long as you do it with a total passion and you love it also

But as i do things little by little why can't i see the way or am i too soon to be better?

or am i just too weak to do the leap...

a giant leap..

who knows

What a Nice Day This Saturday Is

I didn't went out with you that Saturday but you asked me to join you to lunch. What a feeling

That Corporate Projector Should Be Rolled on The Stones to See The Things Beneath.. Darn Satisfaction

lately i got an unexpected spectator in daily life which is i don't wish to be around for a really long time and slowly wanted to take control of my own free life here...

So i fight back they wouldn't take any control on my own life not even a bit sarcastic and sceptic thing they've been saying.

It was fun at first but knowing it would be in unknown time it'll be interrupt me. It disturbs

Son Of a Bitch my friend...

It's hilarious

drum rolls...

audience applause...

Fuck that celebrity who fuck with that band guy

Fuck the people who just think about their selfes

Fuck the cougars activity that other people's life

Fuck the religion's front that just could do the riot around the globe and ready to die in His way

Fuck the politician who takes the people's money and use it for their own needs and pretend to be crazy in front of people. You deserves hell on earth.

Someone really should burn the bed while he's pretending

You guys should believe there is someone out there that you didn't know really cares about you...

You guys should believe they have feelings

You guys really should got the revenge sometimes

Remember what you always consider was true

karma concept

You did good, then good things come to you and vice versa you did bad and bad things come after you

Just think about what you've been doing were done to you in the exact same way

what would us do?

National lay on bed day?

fuck you

Please, everyone has the exact same fragile feeling as you do too\

ps: This is actually an old old draft but then i decided to post it.