There's one thing in common in all of my posts
I wrote them when there was no one at home or when it's so quiet, and everyone was asleep in their rooms.
That's the feeling of solitude amplified into a bigger complex a bigger thing that some called gloomy
no a guy shouldn't fell into something emotional too deeply
I remember once my brother said "You want to know why i always have a girlfriend? You won't understand you are 17 and you got friends around you. Girls to hangout with every single week and people to talk to every minutes. When people get into university, my age people getting individual. This guy who talks to you during lunch break got a job somewhere, that girl which is your best friend going somewhere far get a good job or simply married. Well there you are alone doing your things. Alone in every week looking people holding hands together, your ex got married, your cousins get married. And yet you are alone. That's why i need a girl"
I kind of thinking what he told was kind of right. I think I'm entering university and I got no friends to talk to regularly anymore, no sudden phone calls, no message on my facebook wall, no text message, no yahoo messenger, msn, AOL... No.
So i started a life with a girl. Yes it was awesome it was a bliss until me myself ended the relationship 2 years later because i want to have my time my solitude time. It's not because i just in time needed the time of being alone. I just don't want to be with her anymore. That's it
My mind has been changing, i tell people my thoughts easily (i just got a dejavu when i wrote that) i get aroused easily, i express myself how i want. I tell things what i want to say. And yes I'm being an ass for some people which i completely aware of. I'm being such an asshole for several people and i enjoyed it. I just don't want the people to act nice to me in which a fake nice
I always been picky to choose a girl. But now i don't really care. She's a bitch, she's no virgin, she's a slut as long i being with her. I would appreciate the company.
I just don't want to fell into a lonely guy syndrome, who likes all girl that been interacting with him.
The highlight of recent things is. Someone has been close to me, i give my time to her, i enjoyed the company but i don't want to open myself to her since i don't really like her for several reason.
I found out my ex now has a boyfriend which was stated "her true love" somewhere.
I found out someone that once i asked to have a coffee with me and have a talk nicely since i really interested with her, i watched concert with her, and i hope that someday she'll manage several things in my life now has a boyfriend without telling me back what time when where we gone to meet.
I found out I'm being individual also. I like being individual but i sometimes wish those eyes around me doesn't giving those looks.
I have a project. Which i believe will going to be huge, and someday will take my name printed everywhere. I'm going to work it off and wave goodbye to all of the things that have been ignoring me
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thinks that