Is Love is Sparkles, and A Ray of Light?

Days and days passed i've been hoping for a new day come and still i'm stuck in this circumstance the need to educate myself rather than being lazy ass sleep all day. There should be more time to watch National Geographic Channel, and bend knees in lazy rattan chair, eating chocolate pudding and drink soy milk. All question popped above am i getting older and bored with this routine on the other side stagnated on current intelligence?
It's getting bored when i have no place to study, brain out and pull my shirt hey i'm thirst for being trained!

And oh my hair sucks, no more good hair day and someone said "i like your hair" it's more like Matthew Tucker nowadays, too lazy to cut it again. But i still cut my friends hair. When i prefer simpler styling. No extra money for hairspray *evil thorn

There we made an appointment a week before. She said "Hey cut my hair" sure i would like to cut her hair. Cut tilt head forcefully her face on my both hand i wish i can kiss that cheek that time. Then rechecking, lights down. Great but she looks fine!

We've been facing each other while we sat. I hooked my hand on her left foot and she put her left elbow on my left knee. The lights down, presbyopic made my sight unable saw her face clearly passing car's light lighten it sometimes. There's a glance of her look but i stare straight whatever it takes

I sat beside her and took a reason to look at her hair but i just wanted to see her face closer, and then i asked to get something to eat again then she agreed but i had been suspending the time to look at her face additionally for about several hours

Bad luck she notice it she said "Hey it's getting darker the clock pointing at 10:30 PM!" but i stepped my left foot i lean my body towards her and i said "Hey would you be my girl?" she giggled, what came out next is "What took you so long" he hit my chest then i replied "I'm sorry actually i've been thinking about this too long, and i planned to say to you before you asked that question last night" then she keeps quiet

What happened the night before was, she texted she wanted to ask about something, i replied "Yes?" She asked about what am i going to done with my previous statement like a month before. I told her that are i love her, and don't want to lose her. Well she just wanted to know what am i going to done with it. But then i replied "Let's be a boyfriend, and girlfriend then! But i have to say this directly to you! Just wait", and then i wrote a new message before she replied it "We're going to meet aren't we?" she didn't answer it but she replied complaining about why am i have been suspending it for a long time.

Back to the room where i cut her hair it was unventilated, and the lights down. A candle with a weird form accompany us seen the surrounding, while my little cousins playing around us. She have been smiling, and then i bewildered with that look so i tried hard to open my mouth,and said "So what is it? What's the answer?". She nod her head then close her eyes saying "Yes" while nodded open it again after she said that, and she continue the word "And now you are my boyfriend, and I'm your girlfriend". She wanted to get up but pulled her arm and said "Give me a hug" then we hug each other tightly till we almost fell to the floor. It was dark, about to middle of the night on September 2nd, and i hold her hand

The next day we met again i wear polo shirt which is looks neat and she dress up so scene although she looks fabulous. I have no idea what are we going to do what would be happen next that evening. I wanted to blew the candles with her so i said "Let's buy a cake" but she don't let me to because got one. She kidnapped me on her house watching National Geographic Channel about oil barrel and mosques, and commenting on some local show and laugh. Then a moment after, she said "Miko you're turning 20!" but what popped on my head is this about the time? Oh geez yes it is. Then she hugged me and kissed my cheek. She took that heart shaped chocolate cake with an surplus amount of sparks candle, 24

"Make a wish!" she said, and then i made a wish, blew the candles hard but the candles lit up over, and over after it blowed. But eventually she helped me then done! I still can't say a word, just smiled along. She asked me to wait. She got a present for me. She enter her room, and came back with a cloth that she cut, and sew by herself I was confused at first trying to figure out what is it but after i observed it i realize it is a blanket. I totally like the Mickey head shape cut that she stitch on each corner. I said "Thank you", and i give her a hug once more. But too bad i have to go home, i asked her to accompany me to get a cab, we walk to the nearest road while she eat that chocolate cake then i got one bite of it then i said bye i hug her and kiss her cheek again. That's how the story goes

is love is a ray of light?

"I Thought I Was Wrong So I've Got To Move On" she said

I miss a scent of someone, and yet i miss my time being around her
but yes i take back my previous words because of this

It's started out on May 8th i saw my friend's wall, and i saw this foreigner girl drop him wall called his name, i started to think that it's a fake profile but then i decided to give it a peek, maybe i'll add her when i'm pretty sure she's real. But every time i drop a wall to my friends she is there drop a wall as well so i decided to add her. I am sure enough some rich girls, and high class peeps would not accept my friendship request but she approve it right away, and dropped me a wall just to say thanks then sure i replied it. We talked a lot till sushi, and popsicles mentioned. It lasted a week till i ask her number. We text a lot, and move on to YM! Every night start above 11 PM, and it usually end up between 4 - 5 AM it's not fair i hooked up on my laptop while she hooked up with her cute little Blackberry lay down on her bed, and didn't fainted when the phone thwack her face, while I'm using my laptop. But then i gather some money to buy the same phone as her. Not for a long time then i bought it. Yes we've been chatting all the time. What ever i said or what ever she said we never got bored on each other although we saying useless words all the time.

Until one day i wakened by a call from my friend he said I have to attend band briefing to talk about what song will be playing next, who will play what instrument, and what gig we should play also when is it. I was talking with her after i took a shower. Then she said she had been on PIM since an hour before but i thought she would not meet me, she probably get her ass off, and ran to somewhere else before i arrived there. Unfortunately, when i'm about half way to get to the meeting point they said that they cancelled the appointment, and i thought "Oh great i would stuck on PIM alone". Then i ask her whether she would be there or not. But she convinced she would be there till 6, and i freak out. Okay there Dunkin Donuts hairy boy dressed in tight Iron Maiden tees, skinny jeans, tight hooded sweatshirt seek for a foreign girl there's no way to walk out, there's no sign of her appearance on the outer seat, but there she goes they both sat on the corner near that window. A girl and her uncle, so the boy waved and taken a closer step, he shook her uncle's hand, and said "Hello" while he can't wait to turn his head to right where the girl sat. He smiled to her uncle and turn his head to right. The boy still smiling while he took a glance of her face. But next the boy given his hand foreign girl grab it they shook. After months, and months been chatting without heard each other voice, thousand bytes spent on the internet, countless emotion they shared, this is the first time they met the first time they touch. The boy fell into his shallow daydream for a moment but the imagination, torn apart when she said "Hello" her voice is just exactly like he expected, but the boy smiled still. He has been thinking how completely different she looked from the pictures the put on the internet but in a good way she's exactly like what he had been imagining all the time. How surprised the boy found that her hair is brown.

Some days passed we meet again, again, and again, till there's a moment we gone to some place with her and her uncle certainly for a work. It was cold and windy that time when the four of us talking on a tiny hut around there. Me, my friend Ricky, her and her uncle. Ricky, and her uncle were wanted to go to the toilet while unconsciously they leaving the both of us on the small bamboo hut. The wind blown so hard, and also breezy at the same time. I fold my knees, and i realized we never as close as this. So close till i can see that brown eyes. I curse my mouth for what will i say next, this happened because my limb works before the brain processes it. So i said "I just knew that your eyes were brown" then i was mumbling hard "stupid stupid stupid" in my mind because she keeps quiet for a moment till i regretted it. But she suddenly look at my eyes as well but i know there's nothing special about my eyes but who knows if the right is purple, and the left is green. The day become night the sky like a blank canvass the painter up there scattered stars on it i said how come in this time in a place like this there's so many stars there and i said "Look stars!" and she said "Oh yes!" God put his hand on the whole day.

Couple days passed I've been making a gap because I thought that I'm nobody, and I have a long list insufficiency. But i think something's lost, something's not right if it keeps on going this way, and probably i will have been living with a fool mark on my brain for ever. Then i decided to talk to her and face it, we meet at that Fish n Co. I eat Fish n' Chips but as always she didn't eat some. I finished my meal, she started the conversation with "So what's the matter you said that you wanted to talk to me?" I was running out of words in sudden when she said that. I said a lot of "like" like this "i was like sort of like having this like" but there the word came out "Mickey i love you" but she didn't hear that clearly so she started to say "You know sometimes you talk about things unclear like you always do...... I've read something about a person like you like sometimes..." she was blabbering, and i kept quiet till she asked again "So what is it?" i said it once more "Mickey listen, i love you" she didn't hear that too, she talking about what she mentioned before. I was dropped, my self esteem became lowered. I remain quiet. She asks again "So Miko what is it?" i said "I love you M...." then she continuing her blabber about what she thinks about me. So i cut it "Mickey! Okay there's two things you need to know for now" i show my fist, and let my little finger pointing up "First, i love you" followed by ring finger pointing up "Second, i don't want to lose you that's it"

Oops, Pardon My French

i can say i will live outside Indonesia and live my life like i wanted to, watching TV on late night and picking fruit from my own garden on the morning like having a small apartment and teaching music while college too
but that's all a dream. I can say it every time i want and as often as i want
i could say i will get a car on the next day after i say this
keep it real don't be too much we can have a plan but if God says no it would not happen how wealthy i am how adequate i am to be in that situation
keep it below the radar and keep the hope soars above the satelite, thats the thing

Sweets, Gums, Gum is better but it Will No Longer Sweet

A dim fluorescent light up my table beside my desk i'm writing this in my bedroom still wearing my ripped jeans and white puppy shirt, just after broke the fast and sit here directly got nothing to worry beside a box that i promised to post it to my friend in malaysia. I always lazy regarding the cost to ship it there with an express package service as i remember i checked it costs about Rp 350.000 oh man that's a lot money imagine the poor collecting that amount could be more than a week and i'm spending it least than 5 minutes nah let's put that aside so lately i really got nothing to do except go out and spend my money still the same money burner kid and um go gathering with my friends going out with my closest friend and now she became a part of me and i'm about to faint *laughing. I'll talk about her later

And then i found that i have a less strength about to get a medical program i'm closing my eyes to whatever i must put the effort in case of getting it well just hoping miracle happens that's fool but i'm too tired i have studied all year and what did i got? Yes rejected

Ah my beard grow longer i wonder why am i do not as pale as i was last year, maybe because i burnt down my skin under the sun back then on Bali, or because i add some fish and chicken to my daily meal. I hope it could make me gone bigger but i found it stupid but what ever i hope i get bigger. Not even my body i hope i could be bigger than now on my social life i wish i could do like my buddy Yudha which has passed away a month ago, he was like so close with many many friend i thought he was picky because sometime when he saw a person he always commented at them and bad bad mouth and then laugh and here's my mellow moment comes again. I'll be playing guitar and sang a sad song oh lately i'm playing Dashboard Confessional's Dusk and Summer it helped. One thing i cured back on 2 days ago i was on the plane and i'm suddenly freak out because the bad pilot i'm afraid the plane will have a machine failure or something is coming toward the plane and the plane will goes like bang bang a lot of fire and i'm dead. At that moment i closed my eyes and put my favourite shure in ear earphone play a song and then i said "Relax it's all going to be alright if this plane going down it means you were destined to die here, and you'll be live on what's called life after the dead if you die then die you still able to see the people you love and don't have a troublesome on Yudha he's save now don't worry he wasn't in a deep pain, a deep regret or something bad happened to him because he is now save on His side and you must believe it, yes i believe. About the university thing you must have a bigger aim than now and that makes you have a goal on your life okay you will be have a college on states" i forgot on what am i saying to myself "things happened for a reason" "Fate is all in His hand" it means ALL things and could be every little thing. So i'm relieved like a little splash of dew on a mountain. That could be mean i'm cured from airplane phobia

I'm forcing to eat things now like crazy i'm gained weight now like 10 pounds and now my tummy is saggier than ever because an excessive skin that i get on a result from weight lost from 200 pounds to 140 pounds yeah that's a lot flappy tummy! I wish i'm able to do more exercises like the old days. I want my skin like i used to. Oh yes and um things changed i found i have to keep things childish to keep me going forward and yes here's my phone looks now

It's Blackberry storm but i give it a sticker. But after i got home i crave at amazon.com and they have this pattern  yes amazon pissed me off Argh

And yet another Birthday i don't feel i like my birthday because i'm going to congratulated all day and i'm too shy to face them all but okay there was so much of them congrats me on the facebook and some of them like "Although you do not know me i still want to wish you ...." and that's funny thank you for you that had take some of their precious time drop me a wall and congrats me wether from Facebook or SMS or call me that's so wonderful thanks a lot!

did you know i'm still on 11th grade? And still 16 *pft

well i just realized that i'm acting plain most of the time that made me not able to show how i really feel to my friends and family but i dare myself to fix it my eyelids became looser every single day. I must have put an excessive amount of excitement a bit more here. On my head

Power Ranger In A lazy Summer, Beaten Up By A Crab

i eat my own shit
it doesn't feels good
don't have a great picture of how hurtful it is
so let it be, like
every going car have a destination if it isn't they wouldn't pass by on the road
wheels representing body they spin, surged by a middle force
and one don't know. Lips are sealed
The stream reach it's skyscraper tower gave an fathomable letters they said "voices prevail"
but whatever the name is we should took over the eyes
Surroundings

Two Mall Securities Stand Around Me When I Open Up This Goddamn Laptop And Writing Things. Maybe They Think I'm Gonna Blow The Whole Mall

It's Ramadhan. means the moslems have to fasting. Have to hold they desire to eat, to hold their lust and many more *like some CD commercials

and every morning the kids around always keep me awake. Like a life-o-walking alarm clock passed in front of your door. Some of them hitting drums, some tambourine, some shouted like "SAHUUUR SAHUUUR~~!", and some put an amount of gasoline in their mouth and burst them upon the fiery torch

Okay i made up the last one

So it's ramadhan some of moslems do fasting and so am i. Keep following the oldies d'oh. So fasting means to hurt your stomach. Keep them empty for a day and make them full before night. That's odd blah. So this is the first time i made a random post since my last friendster blog. So i said a much of "so". So...... ahh cut that crap

I'm writing this on the edge of the world in the most hype place in this whole city and probably where all teenagers in this whole town gathered. Pondok Indah Mall Food Court. I waited for my my meal going down to my stomach so there's some spaces for Quickly bubble whooggle icy drink. Still full and hurts. I'm writing this on the corner of some pillars blah blah

I don't want to go home. I want to go somewhere and spend the night there. Actually i watched a movie at the theater by myself a cool stuff but not the effects G.I Joe i remember when i was little i have them on my toy box they can stick on the big vehicle because they have a magnet underneath the shoes. Blah the film was cool but the effects made it awful. I woke up in the Morning about on 11 (is it morning?) and didn't shower, gone to some university on 3, checking where the Australia embassy is, and get on the Pimmy (cute nickname eh?) on 4:20 and watched G.I Joe on 4:30. Oh My God i can't hold it i want to laugh.

Did i looked like foreigner till someone came closer to me ask for a donation for an orphanage in English? He was like "that's a book if you want to donate for the orphanage.." and i waved my hands and said "No thank you, you don't have the letters said that i have to give you some money" and he smiled and just gone (sounded selfish eh?). I wonder he sneak out on my back and chop me on my back booo scarryyy~~~

lol the mall is about to close. They take the dirty plates. Is it that fast? Oh it's just me

My friends now have some distance with me they have they own business, like GIRLS. Why a girl probably changed one habit? They probably changed in behave and sometime act cool. FINALLY i got my own time for myself this day. I hang out with my imaginary friend haha. My tummy still full and i think i want to force Quickly whooglie booglie bubbles to my tummy before it's close. Blah bye!

There's Must Be a Reason Why He Dressed Up In White

I really can't concentrate on a thing. Even to reply a short message services from my friend or talk to someone I can't get what they deliver to me and meanwhile I explained something I would stop for a moment and said to myself "what are you talking about?" there would a hollow moment then i forgot about everything. I'm thinking too much about negative things and got frighten for it well. The best thing to do is to face it, a coward runaway from their responsibility. But I really wanted to get a green card and live somewhere on the states and teaching music. Have you ever feel the same way as me? You iron caged by a situation and dilemma while at one side about your own happiness and one side about other's

But I just get back from Bali for a so called vacation. Actually my dad have a congress and some doctors to train there for 3 days so we decided to follow him. We as me and my sister. So the thing I didn't like is my hotel is far from Kuta, and my oldest bro can't join us because he suffers a Jaundice. The good thing if he joined he would do some useless activity which is i like. Rather than sitting and drinking. Come on we can do anything in Bali. I wanted to eat traditional foods, walk along the streets and live like Balinese do. Wear sleeveless shirt and short pants and burnt my skin under the sun. But actually it was fun back then. I learned something from my visit to Bali that I was thinking too much about negative things but doesn't have a great force like I used to before. I was exhausted about university shit and probably i'm planning to get a scholarship abroad

Err do anyone like to play twitter? I've made an account there about a long time ago but I decided to left it because I thought its just for famous people. Well an example if i was following a porn star twitter she would be saying "Cherry Blossom is sucking a dick" yeah I give a shit! I mean come on who wants to know what are we doing in a second unless were a local celebrity. Actually i want to know what my idol doing or said but I didn't get the point. Do they add something to our knowledge? I really wanted to use that thing but still didn't get it what would I do there *giggle. So i'm using Plurk from about June or something in this year lol. Ah it's 1:36 i want to wash my body and go to the theater watching movie. Yet alone again lol. I Haven't get my time alone