I'm in a shock
If the way you choose is to hold grudge then let you be that way
If revenge is your way then let you do
If none of words are to be kept. Any words that have been told turn to ashes
The feeling was a pretension
The words of love never meant to be spoken
A nail caused the same damage on the other side
If you were me. You would have all the answers within
Of course you don't understand
You're not me
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Blue Note
I'm at Palembang. I hate being here i don't know what am i doing here or remember how i ended up here. But I'm here already. I'm going back to Jakarta tomorrow.
Friendly Fires is coming to town, i haven't got the chance to listen to every single song. 17th March is the day they'll come.
I guess this is the second concert i would attend alone. Because I'm still unsure who's the company. I don't know the band until one day my cousin tune the song on. I liked em. That's the way i like music lately liked them immediately.
I have this laziness that kept holding the body down. I wanted to go out wander and get a holiday a long one.
If i pick several days that i should pick that i don't want to forget in case that black guy from Heroes came to me and took my memories. I would definitely pick is the day that i get an Acid LSD for some unapparent reason i can't get off the memory but it always came back to that day. Over and over. Definitely i love that day. But I'm unsure it's healthy or not to keep remembering that day in that way. Keep that day in my head forever even i am wrong.
My heart become a stone cold, i even be afraid of it sometimes. All i want is the thing i want to do. And i would get off everything that been holding me down.
Friendly Fires is coming to town, i haven't got the chance to listen to every single song. 17th March is the day they'll come.
I guess this is the second concert i would attend alone. Because I'm still unsure who's the company. I don't know the band until one day my cousin tune the song on. I liked em. That's the way i like music lately liked them immediately.
I have this laziness that kept holding the body down. I wanted to go out wander and get a holiday a long one.
If i pick several days that i should pick that i don't want to forget in case that black guy from Heroes came to me and took my memories. I would definitely pick is the day that i get an Acid LSD for some unapparent reason i can't get off the memory but it always came back to that day. Over and over. Definitely i love that day. But I'm unsure it's healthy or not to keep remembering that day in that way. Keep that day in my head forever even i am wrong.
My heart become a stone cold, i even be afraid of it sometimes. All i want is the thing i want to do. And i would get off everything that been holding me down.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I Made Post When I'm Sad And Lonely. Yes I Am Now
There's one thing in common in all of my posts
I wrote them when there was no one at home or when it's so quiet, and everyone was asleep in their rooms.
That's the feeling of solitude amplified into a bigger complex a bigger thing that some called gloomy
no a guy shouldn't fell into something emotional too deeply
I remember once my brother said "You want to know why i always have a girlfriend? You won't understand you are 17 and you got friends around you. Girls to hangout with every single week and people to talk to every minutes. When people get into university, my age people getting individual. This guy who talks to you during lunch break got a job somewhere, that girl which is your best friend going somewhere far get a good job or simply married. Well there you are alone doing your things. Alone in every week looking people holding hands together, your ex got married, your cousins get married. And yet you are alone. That's why i need a girl"
I kind of thinking what he told was kind of right. I think I'm entering university and I got no friends to talk to regularly anymore, no sudden phone calls, no message on my facebook wall, no text message, no yahoo messenger, msn, AOL... No.
So i started a life with a girl. Yes it was awesome it was a bliss until me myself ended the relationship 2 years later because i want to have my time my solitude time. It's not because i just in time needed the time of being alone. I just don't want to be with her anymore. That's it
My mind has been changing, i tell people my thoughts easily (i just got a dejavu when i wrote that) i get aroused easily, i express myself how i want. I tell things what i want to say. And yes I'm being an ass for some people which i completely aware of. I'm being such an asshole for several people and i enjoyed it. I just don't want the people to act nice to me in which a fake nice
I always been picky to choose a girl. But now i don't really care. She's a bitch, she's no virgin, she's a slut as long i being with her. I would appreciate the company.
I just don't want to fell into a lonely guy syndrome, who likes all girl that been interacting with him.
The highlight of recent things is. Someone has been close to me, i give my time to her, i enjoyed the company but i don't want to open myself to her since i don't really like her for several reason.
I found out my ex now has a boyfriend which was stated "her true love" somewhere.
I found out someone that once i asked to have a coffee with me and have a talk nicely since i really interested with her, i watched concert with her, and i hope that someday she'll manage several things in my life now has a boyfriend without telling me back what time when where we gone to meet.
I found out I'm being individual also. I like being individual but i sometimes wish those eyes around me doesn't giving those looks.
I have a project. Which i believe will going to be huge, and someday will take my name printed everywhere. I'm going to work it off and wave goodbye to all of the things that have been ignoring me
I wrote them when there was no one at home or when it's so quiet, and everyone was asleep in their rooms.
That's the feeling of solitude amplified into a bigger complex a bigger thing that some called gloomy
no a guy shouldn't fell into something emotional too deeply
I remember once my brother said "You want to know why i always have a girlfriend? You won't understand you are 17 and you got friends around you. Girls to hangout with every single week and people to talk to every minutes. When people get into university, my age people getting individual. This guy who talks to you during lunch break got a job somewhere, that girl which is your best friend going somewhere far get a good job or simply married. Well there you are alone doing your things. Alone in every week looking people holding hands together, your ex got married, your cousins get married. And yet you are alone. That's why i need a girl"
I kind of thinking what he told was kind of right. I think I'm entering university and I got no friends to talk to regularly anymore, no sudden phone calls, no message on my facebook wall, no text message, no yahoo messenger, msn, AOL... No.
So i started a life with a girl. Yes it was awesome it was a bliss until me myself ended the relationship 2 years later because i want to have my time my solitude time. It's not because i just in time needed the time of being alone. I just don't want to be with her anymore. That's it
My mind has been changing, i tell people my thoughts easily (i just got a dejavu when i wrote that) i get aroused easily, i express myself how i want. I tell things what i want to say. And yes I'm being an ass for some people which i completely aware of. I'm being such an asshole for several people and i enjoyed it. I just don't want the people to act nice to me in which a fake nice
I always been picky to choose a girl. But now i don't really care. She's a bitch, she's no virgin, she's a slut as long i being with her. I would appreciate the company.
I just don't want to fell into a lonely guy syndrome, who likes all girl that been interacting with him.
The highlight of recent things is. Someone has been close to me, i give my time to her, i enjoyed the company but i don't want to open myself to her since i don't really like her for several reason.
I found out my ex now has a boyfriend which was stated "her true love" somewhere.
I found out someone that once i asked to have a coffee with me and have a talk nicely since i really interested with her, i watched concert with her, and i hope that someday she'll manage several things in my life now has a boyfriend without telling me back what time when where we gone to meet.
I found out I'm being individual also. I like being individual but i sometimes wish those eyes around me doesn't giving those looks.
I have a project. Which i believe will going to be huge, and someday will take my name printed everywhere. I'm going to work it off and wave goodbye to all of the things that have been ignoring me
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Serendipity Occurs As One Drop Of White Paint In a Bucketful Black Paint Sank
I've been having a mustache. The long one. The one i could put wax on it to make it always in shape.
I knew the consequences and i knew what would come as i put a mustache on my face. I looked funny and for some i looked ridiculous.
That was the face of late public sudden laughter. That's the face of sudden mockery occurred in at least in wherever i roam and wherever in sight.
You know how the society works, people laugh about the mustache like it was a walking comedy. I know. It's how society works. Like a tiny drop of white paint in a bucketful of black paint.
Like being an atheist in Indonesia. Everyone wouldn't stop to make you like one of them before they see you are being one.
I thought this place is a democratic place and free for everyone to be like what they wanted. Free for everyone to do whatever they like.
No the surroundings wont work that way.
Unless.
You are the change.
I've shave the mustache. Because i'm bored.
Yeah, i do what always do. I do things when i'm bored. I took the idea into realization.
The first idea of having a mustache is all because i'm bored and i shave it because i knew how to i look, feel when i have one.
Yes i do have a clean face now. Yes i do get some mockery also. They said i looked gay.
You know that's the way society works in what i learned.
it always talk shits in whatever you do
it's just how far you can take it.
Don't ever be something you're not
Don't give a fuck to what people say about you
Never be afraid to be true to yourself
I knew the consequences and i knew what would come as i put a mustache on my face. I looked funny and for some i looked ridiculous.
You know how the society works, people laugh about the mustache like it was a walking comedy. I know. It's how society works. Like a tiny drop of white paint in a bucketful of black paint.
Like being an atheist in Indonesia. Everyone wouldn't stop to make you like one of them before they see you are being one.
I thought this place is a democratic place and free for everyone to be like what they wanted. Free for everyone to do whatever they like.
No the surroundings wont work that way.
Unless.
You are the change.
I've shave the mustache. Because i'm bored.
Yeah, i do what always do. I do things when i'm bored. I took the idea into realization.
The first idea of having a mustache is all because i'm bored and i shave it because i knew how to i look, feel when i have one.
Yes i do have a clean face now. Yes i do get some mockery also. They said i looked gay.
You know that's the way society works in what i learned.
it always talk shits in whatever you do
it's just how far you can take it.
That's the way society works.
Always talk shits in whatever you do
Don't ever be something you're not
Don't give a fuck to what people say about you
Never be afraid to be true to yourself
Monday, February 13, 2012
Hello My Name Is... Lonely
Fall in love is such a strong emotion, such a strong feeling
and yet devastating
losing your ego, and two people two different personalities become one.
I'm not sure i can afford that anymore
losing myself into someone
ego fades
bodily relationship seems easier
Ain't easy in solitude after being together
When i really got no one to talk
When i don't have any more place to go
When everyone seems having more fun than myself
and yet devastating
losing your ego, and two people two different personalities become one.
I'm not sure i can afford that anymore
losing myself into someone
ego fades
bodily relationship seems easier
Ain't easy in solitude after being together
When i really got no one to talk
When i don't have any more place to go
When everyone seems having more fun than myself
Monday, January 9, 2012
Vintage Tron I Thought Was Never Coming
Like i never expect this box came out of nowhere at my house. I have no hope that this box will coming and i thought i was being tricked by this ebay guy that i've been giving my rude words.
 |
| S. Allard i'm so sorry for the accusation |
 |
| US Postal service work in slow motion. 7 months people! |
This is an ultra rare Tron Toys since this toys is the first production. Every character has been sold of 5000 piece each.
 |
| All the toys that had arrived. They might be breathing fresh air now |
It was brought together of all the plastic figurine but i missed one. Flynn
 |
| 82's fastest bike (virtually) |
And the other light cycle which was orange
 |
| Sark. MCP's right hand. (I guess MCP's left hand is occupied) |
 |
| Warrior. The Troops |
 |
| And the Tron itself |
I'm very happy with the arrival of this toys. Now i'm going to find another toys to complete them
A Pleasure To Meet You
Foggy weather,
Raindrop,
and all I've done was driving down the road. It was one of the worst road where traffic jam seldom occurred. I was driving and my mind wasn't on the passing and chasing cars but towards a hollow gaze.
I felt so hollow, was starving and in thirst. All i want to do is let out something irrelevant in a inexplicably form of tears. Streamed down as i watch one raindrop had made a passage on my windshield.
Raindrop,
and all I've done was driving down the road. It was one of the worst road where traffic jam seldom occurred. I was driving and my mind wasn't on the passing and chasing cars but towards a hollow gaze.
"I wanted her... I wanted her But she doesn't like the life that i lead"
"Doesn't like a sand stuck on her feet. Or sitting around smoking weed"
Nothing goes according to plan. None of the prayers are answered and no one really listened. I don't want to cause any trouble. It was a proper invitation and the boldest i've ever done. It made me happy... Only a reply for a coffee.
"And i boast that it is meant to be, but in all honesty"
The affirmative was written on the reply and something has ballet me down all the way for several minutes. Yes stupid... We all are when in love. A total happiness fills my throat all i could do is smiled, and yelled. "Yea if only i have a time for my self also i would say yes. i'll holla" she replied.
"I don't have a hope in hell I'm happy just to watch her move"
It was all happiness remembering that time until now, and remembering how the first time i walk closer to her after hundred days of observation from afar. Finally i came to her and told her that i always see her in the other branch of the book store she works on. She asked me did i saw her often from the later place. I said yes, we were in touch.
"And in all honesty"
One evening i embrace myself and right away i messaged her, was she up for a coffee. And the day changed, on the following morning it was all the things i've felt before all feelings become one in one piece. Like i wanted to shout and laugh at the same time. You want to cry and laugh at the same time. And yet you are sad since you can't do much than expressing it and no one really understand you at that state.
"I don't have a hope in hell I'm happy just to watch her move"
The affirmative stated followed by a statement of notification towards myself when she set the desired time of event to happen. The sung of love, happiness was a friend for me at that time and nothing more i really want than waiting.
"and I thought they could cure his disease"
Waiting for something i really want, and i always adore of. Waiting for something that have never come. Something that wouldn't really happened until the day i saw you gave poems about what love is in a form of a person and how ridiculous she was without that person significantly as a car and wheel, pedophile and a van, and Chaplin without his moustache. Funny she said mustache since i grew mine for a time.
"but in all honesty"
The sung of love and happiness used to be my friend but now they translated as bullshit. Expectation of every upcoming Friday, and Saturday was completely thrown away. All i do is playing video games. I don't really want to do something. Maybe not for now.
"He didn't have a hope in hell"
She have been having a boyfriend as i waiting for her 'holla'. Well i really got nothing to say about it.
"Now we'll never see him move"
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