That Particular Monday

A week has passed since that particular Saturday,
I always get out on the exact time to that Particular Saturday get a drink and get back to my class. It was Saturday and i looked all the way across the room from the canteen entrance. She wasn't there anymore for many weeks after that Particular Saturday. I checked the whole campus for every day since that Particular Saturday.
Second week has came and as usual i checked the whole campus also. But no she wasn't there i didn't even see a glimpse of her.
So i do it until the next 6 week.
Yes fool. We all are when in uncertainty.
The 6th week. It was Monday noon, I finished my first class and about to get ready for the next shift it was Software Software Engineering. It started around 13:20 till 17:00. I walked out of the the first class and tried to get a bottle of water. It was hot and there was this fake flash mob dance that made by bvoice radio. A radio station in my campus that streams the radio broadcast analog and digitally so it's accessible through internet. So i was about to get to her, and i pretended to see the dance. But she came closer. So close until i was behind her until her hair could reach my nose. She clearly don't remember me as that guy who stared at her that particular Saturday.
My heart raced and thumping so fast, i got butterflies in my tummy, and my knees are too weak to handle me. But i content myself. I saw her gone back and forth between her seat and where she stood in front of me. I was crazy and i really want to know her name. Just say hi and introduce myself and ask her name it's so simple.
But i didn't do that. What i did next was ran into my class put my bag, and brought my friend and told her that girl i really like was there sitting down there at the campus coffee shop. I sat several feet away from her discussing with my friend how could i get to know her name while she's with her friends.
I was there discussing it with my friend until she got off her seat and walk at some direction.
I popped beside her and i asked her name she was puzzled. I can see it in her eyes. She's shocked
So i just said "May i know your name" she told me her name she gave me her hand and we shook hands.
I was pretending to look cool while inside me collapsing.
I like her hair, i like her eyes.
I like her a lot.
Weeks passed since i know her name i said hi every single time i met her.
I secretly made some moments when i could "fake bump into" her so i could be think that i was around. It was 3 weeks after i knew her name and i asked her number
I'm talking to her as i wrote this blog entry
Things are pretty good, but not as smooth as i expected to...
We're talking about music right now, she's pretty much hearing my bands
Nothing better

That Particular Saturday Evening

It was Saturday noon i was so bored in my class and decided to have a chuckle with my friends. It was a little bit dark since it would rain that Saturday evening.
My class started as usual at 13:20 untill 17:00 I've done some side flips in front of the class, hide behind an acrylic wall and pretend that my friends didn't see me and i saw someone came out beside my class.
It was all in silence. I was in silence my friends in silence... and i remember i saw the girl with short hair and big eye was there walked out her class.
For a moment i thought a while and tried to digest things. It was a moment when one second felt like eternity and i have no idea i dropped my jaw. From that moment i nick her as "that short haired girl"
It was last semester. Odd semester. That Saturday noon


For another passing semester a lot of things had been happening, a lot of things passed, I totally forgot about what had happened that Saturday evening.
Even semester has come and i am a whole new person with whole new mind. I worked on my shy behavior since i keeps me out from growing to a lot of new things. I cut my hair, i shaved my mustache and got a lot of work outs.
It was Saturday morning. I was so bored in my class. My class started from 7:00 and ends at 1:00PM. In the middle of class i got out of class and decided to bail out. It was 11:20 and I felt like to eat something so i get down to the campus food area where i could get some chicken since I'm always in a low fat high protein diet. I ordered 3 boxes of Steamed Chicken Breast to be brought home and eat it with my Paps and Mama. But then i saw this 'that short haired girl' passes in front of me and paralyses while looking at her.
She notices, she took off her thick rimmed spectacles while looking in to the side.
She waved her hair a bit. I can't help but looking at her, I don't want to lose that moment. If i were a camcorder i tried to self erasing my memory and fill it with this moment.
But then i left the food area without giving her another look. And went home safe and sound
I thought to myself again... What was that!
So i got home changed my outfit and go to sleep. I don't even want to eat my Steamed Chicken Rice
I lose my balance of life...
We all do when we felt something out of ordinary aren't we

Rubbing Grime?

Hard to believe people change into another form of evil when they face towards a threat of misfortune
Ain't a word be nice to all of us yet no words left undone
Yet again people see what they want to see. They make it real just to make assumptions from what they know and been suspected. They let the thoughts live and make a grudge of it
Grown into Casanova individual taking measurements from the nearest people and reach the highest points of them.. Such a waste of life

Btw i met this girl at my campus, she's cute and all i said to her like "Can i know your name?" and she was like giving her hand and said "Of course " i don't know about having a girlfriend or someone close. Of course i need someone to talk but i won't give any sort of attention like 24/7 late night calls etc etc with the boyfriend girlfriend cutey things as easy as my Paps to vomit on top of it because a bad movie.
I didn't ask her number though
i found project lotus was exciting have i missed the show? Or it just begun?
I missed whole point of this blog. This isn't working for me any longer. I make posts just because i don't want to pass some month without posting.
I gave up hope about someone special when i thought people could act the same but some of them act like they care. I was waiting for her call back for my coffee invitation. But she never calls back so i put my mind into another shape. It don't matter how my company looks. All that matters is when they don't complain to whatever I'm doing and trust me even when i do wrong things and people around them were against me.
Some girls were unicorn and aren't with relationship we are in a cycle from stranger into stranger again?
I don't get it why people can't stand being alone. Like where do you want to put yourself? So you are someone's brother? Someone's gf? Someone's niece? What does that means to you? A lot? So now. Do you understand yourself? Know what you want to do for your life? Know where you are now? I bet you just live to be rotten being a servant of someone's mind and you will live to the end of your life being a such pitiful creature.
Alrite imma wait for Galaxy S III for a bigger phone. I'm tired of little screen

das Tür

It has been 3 years since i typed a word in this blog about United States and how Love and Lust has a thin line. I just finished my yogurt. It's lychee i always like lychee since it has it's own sweetness and fresh aroma. I like it a lot since the packed juice in the grocery was ice cold and crazy fresh when it was summer and the sun is glaring hot.
I just wrote a translated Indonesian Dragonball Z on my twitter
lol i have to get back studying this Computer Networking I'm in the middle exam week now in my 4th Semester in Binus University. I felt settled in in here
anyway how can i write down German letters in this us keyboard?

"Get a Licking"

I guess it's right. Life goes on, people changing, places gone and replaced and you are the only one who are stagnating.
People gone by, and I'm doing the same thing each and every day. Same routine. Until i asked myself
"Why am i doing this?"
"Why am i the only one doing this?"
I'm feeling alone yet i have a lot of friends, nothing to hope, nothing to expect. Happy cheerful yet alone.
I gone out to some places meet people with their friends, spouses, significant other, etc.
So i made my own routine, going to gym. I like it a lot i meet a lot of new people and I'm getting healthier and it affected my body a lot.
Going to gym also made me lost about 4 - 5 hours a day. Which made me have less time to have a chit chat my dad and my mom at home.
I wish i have time to read more novels and books in my mean time.
and i have some weird attraction towards mobile phone i used to change mobile phone like every 6 months yet technology rapidly growing every 3 months one technology left out.
I don't know what to write. Or maybe i have to stop writing.

Thank you for being my loyal reader whoever you are wherever you are

It's Snowing Outside But I Don't Want To Wear My Coat. I PutThem On Under The Shelf. Thanks Charles!

It's sucks how this ended up this way. As i recall that memories, it feels like yesterday. Yet i don't want to remember those times again. Maybe for now or maybe for ever.
I am upset. One said if you are pissed count to 10 before making another decision. If you are angry count to 1000. I've waited 14 days since the day i was angry until i made this writing. That box up there was everything i have from the memories with me and my ex girlfriend.
In short I've been keeping her off one particular guy and now she's dating with him.
I called her a bitch.
When i need the explanation of 'why' i asked. Then the 'why' replied by and "lol i get it. Feelings change right? Just like the day you left me". No you can't explain my 'why' with an LOL. Nothing funny with breaking a news to someone with a sign of laughter.
No, you can't compare my family with another family. No, you don't even tried to talk to them. Of course you like phone more. She said 7 months after me and her break up she get to close to someone new which is the guy she always hang out with when i was dating her. But in the calculation from August add 7 months is march week 4 and she said that at middle of march. So how? It happens in the future and she predicted it?
I am upset. Nothing to regret. 

Of course i don't want to regret anything that I've done in my past. Sure i got the consequences of what I've done. I put all those memories in one box, bring it all the way beside her house. And set the box on fire and let the memories and stuff turn to ashes. I've never done or get something like this in my life. But hey someone to get something once along their life don't they? People met another people to make them someone they would become someday. I am myself my own from now on.

Sure It Is Not Meant To Be

This all comeback again since this little conversation between old friend of mine and myself
she asked "So you said love is lust. It's like 4 or 5 years ago but i just want to ask 'why?'"
It's been a long long time since i manage this kind of post. Well let me explain in other way. The explanation of 4 years or 5 later.
Love is an emotion, an attachment, a possession, and lust. Stirred in one type of feeling, condition, anxiety and euphoria driven by hormonal imbalance. Then you've became in  a state that called in love.
Love itself is a substitution of an absence of a name of the feeling you've been suffered

An extreme happy, sad, and anger in one
Yes i'm not a believer. Love is just an expression towards something in particular