Wednesday, December 9, 2009
i beg you please i want to hear the sound of your voice, the laugh, the sound of your breath, kiss my eyes before I'm lost, and feel your fingers on my palm
Friday, December 4, 2009
I like you, I like you way too long now. I just don’t know what to say and what to react when I’m around you. You seem to be so not into love and things. I’m nervous when I talk to you because you react so different every other time. Please stop being so ridiculously unreachable. Do you know I'm screaming I love you and I really like you down here right now?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
"You know you're being patient after you able to calm down"
but in this case she can't bears the feeling. So she asks the boy
"Hey B, do you love me?"
He blabbering "You are one of the blah blah and you are in my heart blah blah..." eventually he don't answer the question. But after a lot of heart to heart talks they were dating. How happy the girls is even word can't describe. While what this boy doing is just hurting the girl feeling indirectly. He don't reply her messages, don't pick up her phone calls, not even meet her. So they decided to break up after had been dating for one or two months. Remember Guys like to play games, the most interesting part is doubter of a girl's mind "Could you be mine or not". I suggest to you to be mysterious okay! Now forget that boy and look for others lolol
Life is too short to waste endless experiences served upon. Don't waste your time for one thing that's not worth for you because even they don't care about you.
"If you wanted someone to be like what you want, it means you forcing one being a reflection of someone else"
I realized what's written above when i was graduated.
Then i changed since that time
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Life is a game and it ain't easy, living life is the tricky part have to adapt with the surroundings which act like an eruption it wouldn't always be good at you. We have to take the risk. "Love is just a game" - The Magic Numbers guys like to play game my friend said and it's the explanation why guys always being such an asshole. He likes to chase a lot of girls, and leave them when he get bored of them is fun. While girls is more sensitive. So i think that the most exciting part of loving someone is, how long you're able to spend your time with them, how patient you are to take them as they are. I am writing all of this while looking at Michelle playing her cute Blackberry. Maybe it's not comfortable for her because i always stare her face for a long time, and just keep quiet. I am still young, i know God, and all the people knows that we are visibly young. The olds always take it as an experience but who knows
So earlier blog posts is all about life. What i've been thinking, and what do i think of love. I think not even one of you wants to hear about my relationship so I just would share my thoughts with all of you. Private life is still private lololol I guess...
I always hope this will be going forever. God Bless me, and you all.
Song for this moment: Bob Marley - Three Little Birds
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
A lot of things have been going on me my hair is shorter, i got a "Snake Bite" piercing, and i bleach my hair. Beside of that all the people around is now acting nice. I can relax, drink milk on the morning do some skip and watch tv again.
Well it's all about learning learning to be better. To be a better man, to be a better son, to be a better person. We're all not perfect so being perfect is such a waste. The best thing is being the best the best in field, socialization, town, or world.
I love Michelle so much and i am her buddy she is my girlfriend and also being my buddy too. I am affected by her hobbies and what she is into I am so happy that we met after we knew each other from Facebook.
Friday, October 23, 2009
i miss you so much and no one in this world feels the same as you
i just can't stand i mourn about you too long
one side i was so sad and one side i am linger
and i bet you don't like it too when you see me like this
someone said that i need someone to talk. It was you, but you're gone
I'm sorry i can't keep being like this you are my extended family
or maybe my whole family feel the same way
I'm sorry maybe you're shouting to me from there and said things like this for a long time ago
I'm sorry for not being sensitive, and in someway too sensitive
I'm glad knowing that you save there, and I will go on live my life
Thanks for being such a good friend
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
like a sun keep it schedule to shine the earth
like smokers needs their cigars
helps to done a little thing which is noticeably unimportant or even important
abandon on what have been covering the cold and heat leave it melted on the floor
as you take it wash away without put your wits end
leaf falls on a closed room no air no one will touch it
like taking a breath, hurt every took an take an amount to inflate the chest
the hardest part of living is see you walk away
while i can't do nothing to prevent it
Please understand jealousy is not a good product from God
I will take care everything you give as long as you take a care of mine too
pin your hair it covers your eyes
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
We gone somewhere over a place that looks unfamiliar for me
We are a backpackers i have the big one and you have that leather one we hung it on our shoulder
We drop by to a Coffee Shop we sat there on the corner.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
A little boy asks. words shaking shudder of unknown twirl in the spine
The girl hand is held by him
Stores about to close
Likeliness.. No support
A song sung by him, and being a prayer
"She is my sunshine
"She makes me happy when the skies are gray
"You don't know dear how much i love her
"Please, don't ever take my sunshine away
that words haunting. Like a ghost. Look at these people who have a place that they routinely gone and see their friends there whether they know them or not they always saw them so they doesn't feel that they were lonely
Sometimes i feel like i wanted to study hard, but in fact I'm being steady. In one place, creased by a lack of concentration. You can't concentrate on more than two things at the same time so you have to put attention fully in one thing in one time. I know i know, let these words flow is easier than doing it
Sometimes i feel I'm a loser, a lot of time i feel I'm a big liar
No thing i can do to make those feelings gone
I'm a waste I'm a fleeting place to stay
Why am i have to be going in this way
No one will help me except myself
My own self
God, this is the last year, hear my voice. I want medical program Universitas Indonesia
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
She asked that is it okay, she just wanted to done that but i said some words convinced her that it's not even a problem so i wrap my arms around her neck
The greatest feeling of all time it is the feeling when i felt her cheek touching my cheek. It's just unbeatable. Words can't describe
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Remembering someone just making me down into status quo, steady situation. Where i regretting many things that never happen. I wish he's still with me i'll take him everywhere, i'll ask him to ride me anywhere, and i'll introduce him to the one i care. But He's gone
I just still can't forget these things. I'm bored being like this
And no one ever feel the same as him.
I could buy an Tickle Me Elmo doll, or Transformers voice changer mask to make me forget these things. But at certain point i wanted to show the cool stuffs to him. I wanted he saw the best stuff in the world for current time, but the fact he is safe now. I'm tired of mourning
Monday, September 28, 2009
Blitzkrieg should come if i contacted them to kill my relatives. I want them felt how does it feel if they accused for doing something they are not, and how does it feel if they emotionally depressed. Your own family could be turned out to your biggest enemy just because a girl and money
no one will make you get what you've been dreaming for except yourself
*Nah it's just a sweet ice tea
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
It's getting bored when i have no place to study, brain out and pull my shirt hey i'm thirst for being trained!
We've been facing each other while we sat. I hooked my hand on her left foot and she put her left elbow on my left knee. The lights down, presbyopic made my sight unable saw her face clearly passing car's light lighten it sometimes. There's a glance of her look but i stare straight whatever it takes
I sat beside her and took a reason to look at her hair but i just wanted to see her face closer, and then i asked to get something to eat again then she agreed but i had been suspending the time to look at her face additionally for about several hours
Bad luck she notice it she said "Hey it's getting darker the clock pointing at 10:30 PM!" but i stepped my left foot i lean my body towards her and i said "Hey would you be my girl?" she giggled, what came out next is "What took you so long" he hit my chest then i replied "I'm sorry actually i've been thinking about this too long, and i planned to say to you before you asked that question last night" then she keeps quiet
What happened the night before was, she texted she wanted to ask about something, i replied "Yes?" She asked about what am i going to done with my previous statement like a month before. I told her that are i love her, and don't want to lose her. Well she just wanted to know what am i going to done with it. But then i replied "Let's be a boyfriend, and girlfriend then! But i have to say this directly to you! Just wait", and then i wrote a new message before she replied it "We're going to meet aren't we?" she didn't answer it but she replied complaining about why am i have been suspending it for a long time.
Back to the room where i cut her hair it was unventilated, and the lights down. A candle with a weird form accompany us seen the surrounding, while my little cousins playing around us. She have been smiling, and then i bewildered with that look so i tried hard to open my mouth,and said "So what is it? What's the answer?". She nod her head then close her eyes saying "Yes" while nodded open it again after she said that, and she continue the word "And now you are my boyfriend, and I'm your girlfriend". She wanted to get up but pulled her arm and said "Give me a hug" then we hug each other tightly till we almost fell to the floor. It was dark, about to middle of the night on September 2nd, and i hold her hand
The next day we met again i wear polo shirt which is looks neat and she dress up so scene although she looks fabulous. I have no idea what are we going to do what would be happen next that evening. I wanted to blew the candles with her so i said "Let's buy a cake" but she don't let me to because got one. She kidnapped me on her house watching National Geographic Channel about oil barrel and mosques, and commenting on some local show and laugh. Then a moment after, she said "Miko you're turning 20!" but what popped on my head is this about the time? Oh geez yes it is. Then she hugged me and kissed my cheek. She took that heart shaped chocolate cake with an surplus amount of sparks candle, 24
"Make a wish!" she said, and then i made a wish, blew the candles hard but the candles lit up over, and over after it blowed. But eventually she helped me then done! I still can't say a word, just smiled along. She asked me to wait. She got a present for me. She enter her room, and came back with a cloth that she cut, and sew by herself I was confused at first trying to figure out what is it but after i observed it i realize it is a blanket. I totally like the Mickey head shape cut that she stitch on each corner. I said "Thank you", and i give her a hug once more. But too bad i have to go home, i asked her to accompany me to get a cab, we walk to the nearest road while she eat that chocolate cake then i got one bite of it then i said bye i hug her and kiss her cheek again. That's how the story goes
Thursday, September 10, 2009
but yes i take back my previous words because of this
It's started out on May 8th i saw my friend's wall, and i saw this foreigner girl drop him wall called his name, i started to think that it's a fake profile but then i decided to give it a peek, maybe i'll add her when i'm pretty sure she's real. But every time i drop a wall to my friends she is there drop a wall as well so i decided to add her. I am sure enough some rich girls, and high class peeps would not accept my friendship request but she approve it right away, and dropped me a wall just to say thanks then sure i replied it. We talked a lot till sushi, and popsicles mentioned. It lasted a week till i ask her number. We text a lot, and move on to YM! Every night start above 11 PM, and it usually end up between 4 - 5 AM it's not fair i hooked up on my laptop while she hooked up with her cute little Blackberry lay down on her bed, and didn't fainted when the phone thwack her face, while I'm using my laptop. But then i gather some money to buy the same phone as her. Not for a long time then i bought it. Yes we've been chatting all the time. What ever i said or what ever she said we never got bored on each other although we saying useless words all the time.
Until one day i wakened by a call from my friend he said I have to attend band briefing to talk about what song will be playing next, who will play what instrument, and what gig we should play also when is it. I was talking with her after i took a shower. Then she said she had been on PIM since an hour before but i thought she would not meet me, she probably get her ass off, and ran to somewhere else before i arrived there. Unfortunately, when i'm about half way to get to the meeting point they said that they cancelled the appointment, and i thought "Oh great i would stuck on PIM alone". Then i ask her whether she would be there or not. But she convinced she would be there till 6, and i freak out. Okay there Dunkin Donuts hairy boy dressed in tight Iron Maiden tees, skinny jeans, tight hooded sweatshirt seek for a foreign girl there's no way to walk out, there's no sign of her appearance on the outer seat, but there she goes they both sat on the corner near that window. A girl and her uncle, so the boy waved and taken a closer step, he shook her uncle's hand, and said "Hello" while he can't wait to turn his head to right where the girl sat. He smiled to her uncle and turn his head to right. The boy still smiling while he took a glance of her face. But next the boy given his hand foreign girl grab it they shook. After months, and months been chatting without heard each other voice, thousand bytes spent on the internet, countless emotion they shared, this is the first time they met the first time they touch. The boy fell into his shallow daydream for a moment but the imagination, torn apart when she said "Hello" her voice is just exactly like he expected, but the boy smiled still. He has been thinking how completely different she looked from the pictures the put on the internet but in a good way she's exactly like what he had been imagining all the time. How surprised the boy found that her hair is brown.
Couple days passed I've been making a gap because I thought that I'm nobody, and I have a long list insufficiency. But i think something's lost, something's not right if it keeps on going this way, and probably i will have been living with a fool mark on my brain for ever. Then i decided to talk to her and face it, we meet at that Fish n Co. I eat Fish n' Chips but as always she didn't eat some. I finished my meal, she started the conversation with "So what's the matter you said that you wanted to talk to me?" I was running out of words in sudden when she said that. I said a lot of "like" like this "i was like sort of like having this like" but there the word came out "Mickey i love you" but she didn't hear that clearly so she started to say "You know sometimes you talk about things unclear like you always do...... I've read something about a person like you like sometimes..." she was blabbering, and i kept quiet till she asked again "So what is it?" i said it once more "Mickey listen, i love you" she didn't hear that too, she talking about what she mentioned before. I was dropped, my self esteem became lowered. I remain quiet. She asks again "So Miko what is it?" i said "I love you M...." then she continuing her blabber about what she thinks about me. So i cut it "Mickey! Okay there's two things you need to know for now" i show my fist, and let my little finger pointing up "First, i love you" followed by ring finger pointing up "Second, i don't want to lose you that's it"
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
but that's all a dream. I can say it every time i want and as often as i want
i could say i will get a car on the next day after i say this
keep it real don't be too much we can have a plan but if God says no it would not happen how wealthy i am how adequate i am to be in that situation
keep it below the radar and keep the hope soars above the satelite, thats the thing
Monday, August 31, 2009
it doesn't feels good
don't have a great picture of how hurtful it is
so let it be, like
every going car have a destination if it isn't they wouldn't pass by on the road
wheels representing body they spin, surged by a middle force
and one don't know. Lips are sealed
The stream reach it's skyscraper tower gave an fathomable letters they said "voices prevail"
but whatever the name is we should took over the eyes
Monday, August 24, 2009
Two Mall Securities Stand Around Me When I Open Up This Goddamn Laptop And Writing Things. Maybe They Think I'm Gonna Blow The Whole Mall
It's Ramadhan. means the moslems have to fasting. Have to hold they desire to eat, to hold their lust and many more *like some CD commercials
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
sometimes i feel i need to cheer up but i deny it
this is it! *Farah Quinn style *ahem*
I can't fully put my attention into something lately, that's probably the most annoying moment where you was busied with your cell phone and someone is talking with you and they get pissed because you don't listen when they talk, but in fact you type "hey i'm busy catch you later" to your buddy on cellphone. But now my attention is scattered for studying, probability, university, parents, and friends
Do you know how it feels like when you were accused to do something while you didn't do it at all or even you never thought about it? The last time my mom got mad at me and blame me all the way she want. I really wanted to say "Okay mom what do you want to know" i really want her not just get angry every time i want she being my mom. Listened to my problems, my difficulties, and help me to solve the problems. But she treat me like a toddler while she didn't realize why i made that mistakes why i done such thing and why i was acting like that
I'm confused that i was too sensitive lately i touched with a tiny sparks of surprises and simple things
But well i visited Yudha's grave 2 days ago and i wrote something for him. I put it inside a tiny plastic bag to prevent it damaged from the weather. I hope he can open it and read it when the night came and the sun's down and the moon take his working shift. It's a part of The Devil Wears Prada's lyric a song called Louder Than Thunder and then i asked him wether he's fine or not. I said he can visit me anytime. Sure i won't be scared if you appears anytime
And all mixed become one when i was there it reminds me the day when i knew him about 4 years ago he'd asking me to hear a band called Killing Me Inside while the song playing at the MySpace music player. I watched these guys when i attended Java Rockin Land on August 7th there. They played the first three chords of the Tormented. I don't know the chords maybe like D - A# - B# (maybe? hahaha). When that chords played i had a flash of his face and have a clear picture of it. The day when he ask me to came closer while i was busied with my cell phone. On that moment i wished he was there
The fact that, i failed again on university test and then i'm sorry Dad, i really really sorry for still haven't got a university while you really wanted me to get a medical program well im working on it. I really wanted to make you happy but remember i never done something stupid or left my education behind. I put education first above all things in my life. I hope i got a university as soon as possible. I'm terribly sorry Dad. I've put "UNIVERSITY! MEDICAL PROGRAM" in the first list on my head, in last two years
and i learned something from a word called Love because i get into a situation called Jealousy. I am a plain people i'm boring and nothing special about me, i was soaked on a situation where i felt i have nothing to be proud of