Saturday, May 30, 2009



Thursday, May 28, 2009

Disney Had Never Been This Attracting Till The Time We Know We Have So Much Thing In Common

i'm tired being fail i'm tired of never accomplished i'm tired of being so lazy i'm tired of being ordinary i'm tired of being hatred i'm tired of liking someone i'm tired for being like this i'm tired of myself i'm tired being tortured i'm tired of fucked up with this thing i'm tired of being forced i'm tired of being a dad's money burner i'm tired to know that i can't do anything i'm tired of being unsure i'm tired of haven't form an active band i'm tired to feel that the distance became a big problem i'm tired of being trapped i'm tired to look for a new one i'm tired to hope that you will give me the attention i'm tired had no one understand me how i really does i'm tired of being watched i'm tired to know my soy milk is running out and can't eat cornflakes i'm tired for being too fragile i'm tired of considered born with silver tongue i'm tired that i can't do nothing to help me keep doing this i'm tired to know that if i will go faraway from this city i'm tired that i am short i'm tired to get calcium pills i'm tired for have to runaway i'm tired to know that my stomach acid is going to my throat i'm tired to think when i can be their friend i'm tired for having a curly hair i'm tired to flatiron it i'm tired for had to get something to eat for living i'm tired that i need money to get something to eat too i'm tired know that i am ordinary i'm tired to wait that time will come i'm tired for having a bad bedtime i'm tired that usually i get to sleep at 7 - 9 AM i'm tired to wake on 12 - 2.30 i'm tired to hear the babbling i'm tired to smoke again i'm tired to quit smoke i'm tired to see they eat their own spit i'm tired they are being so cocky i'm tired to know they are stingy too i'm tired to think about yesterday i'm tired to going deeply into regret i'm tired to open my eyes every night i'm tired to love i'm tired to eat something i'm tired to gain space i'm tired to think like i was 7 years ago i'm tired to know that money pays a big role in life i'm tired to know that's hard to get money too i'm tired to see them happy i'm tired to make them happy i'm tired to know that when i trying to make them to get into the good way they always think we are stupid and holding them back i'm tired to see they cynically sees me i'm tired to get angry to them i'm tired to know that they think my feelings are fake i'm tired to hear them said "for god sake you are fake i'm tired to a person imitate on another and thinks that they are original i'm tired to see them feel they are freaking famous i'm tired to hear someone say i am being jealous with them so i just keep the fuck off i'm tired to think that i'm going to old i'm tired to say that i think this is just my teen angst and if i being older i'll get embarrassed with this thing i'm tired to try i'm tired to know the math i'm tired to know the physics i'm tired to learn the physics i'm tired to spend money i'm tired to think how i can be closer to you i'm tired bitch! i'm tired to hear them say bad thing about me i'm tired to know that i am weird i'm tired know that i am hatred i'm tired to know that i am force my argument too much i'm tired to see them thinks that i am too childish i'm tired to feel that they always looking at my tiniest fault i'm tired to fuck a bitch and get their titties hardened i'm tired arrgh! i'm tired i need a rest i'm tired to know that people kill each other i'm tired to see that people slit a human throat while the human can't do anything and screaming i'm tired for stereotype of being one i'm tired for uncertainty i'm tired to know the fight because of religions and races i'm tired to imagine all the thing i really want bad i'm tired of being nice i'm tired to try to be nice i'm tired to know that i can't make it to get a university i'm tired to think of you i'm tired to wait for your feedback i'm tired if someday someone know about something i'm tired if they knew it i'm tired being care to you i'm tired waiting you to realize that i need to be cared i'm tired to imagine that you will say no but i'm tired to imagine that you will say yes too i'm tired to hear them say i'm tired of being the youngest so i'm tired for being the most untrusted i'm tired to make this heart fragile i'm tired to saw her acting bitchy i'm tired of hypocrites i'm tired to go to the same mall every week i'm tired to see numbers i'm tired to hear them said the judgement day is near i'm tired to argue with them i'm tired for being blamed bad i'm tired for being bad actually i'm tired to give them advices i'm tired they don't even hear me i'm tired they just complaining that i always wrangle to them i'm tired they doesn't change i'm tired they think i'm someone to depend if they had no money i'm tired to think that is cocky i'm tired to wait for you i'm tired you know Disney i'm tired of being a character of this opera of life i'm tired to deal with the distance i'm tired to walk trough this line i'm tired to spend my money for something that isn't important i'm tired for being nice i'm tired to try to be bad i'm tired for can't start the conversation i'm tired to be shy i'm tired to run in the morning i'm tired to think how my family goes on a circumstance i'm tired to see that child i'm tired to see that older child i'm tired to advising them i'm tired to convince someone that i'm true i'm tired to think abt disney i'm tired to angry i'm tired to convince i'm tired to know that strangers talk shit on me i'm tired to be blamed i'm tired to make you know that i am really really strange and should be avoid

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I'm In a Big Angst so Shut The Hell Up


Monday, May 18, 2009

How to Make Me:

1. add a Porcelain Coated Hair Straightener

2. a Sufficient Amount of Hairspray

3. One Black Skinny-Fit Hooded Sweat Shirt

4. Confusion of Loving Essence

5. a Funny Haircut

6. Skinny Jeans and Studded Belt One Each

7. an Ability to Cook

8. Music and The Ability
9. a Desire of Cute Girls

10. a Bit of Childishness

and, 11. Vegetarianism

P.S: Everyone have their own version on "how to make me" so go on make your own!

Sunday, May 17, 2009


i need a cigarette
well i promise just one
no kidding
just one

so if i can get one and i light it
i'll inhale the smoke from my mouth
pass through my throat,
and fulfill my lung
the poison will blends
with blood
and gone to my brain

there's where the relaxation feeling come
when the poison blends with blood, the poisoned blood from lung pumped to whole body
including the brain where all your thought, feelings, desire, and everything kept


Saturday, May 16, 2009

I Got a Shoot on 5.30 so I Just Have 2 Hours to Sleep

The less worrying thing on human beings
and the most thing people will hassle if they isn't that necessary
The thing mentioned here is isn't important
but it irritates when someone talk about that

No seriously it isn't pleasant when someone taller than me, take an example if i like someone and she's taller than me, i probably throw the feeling as far as it can go, and when i attend some music concert it's hard to see the stage

i looks smaller than i should be.

No kidding but i think everyone expect me taller and bigger

Well i socialize on the internet i don't have many friend out there. So if they see my pics they have a picture of ideal myself on their minds
I have an average height of asian guy about 5' 7", even though i'm taller than my mom and about the same height with my dad, my brother have a massive gap with me he's about 5' 11"

i am not that short if compared to most girls but it isn't nice to had the same height as they do
Forgive me God i ain't being not grateful with your gift but i think i am the one who don't put an effort for being taller
But say it i don't try to be tall and don't put a big passion of being tall and let's take a look at my cousin named Juan he isn't active he do nothing, like playing computer, sega, what ever when he was a teenager, but he got a 5' 11" tall that's genealogical

I just wish i am taller

Friday, May 15, 2009

So When Will That Time Come Back to Me?

You know, the last time i sleep was thursday (14/5/2009) morning on 7.35 AM
and woke at 1 PM

And i haven't got any sleep till now! That is saturday (16/5/2009) 3.33 AM
i got Mickey mad at me and she thinks that i am crazy hahahah

But i bet you guys haven't sleep longer than me~

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

You Can Agree With Me or Just Simply Hate Me

There on the corner, in front of that bread shop
a grandpa sat there all the time with his old chair

he's able to talk normally but seems his lips puts a weight too much to zip what inside his mind
he don't have anyone to share, anyone to talk to, and a place to stay when the rain pour
all the thing he got is his old Hohner Accordion to make some money for living
and his special ability to read minds

So he could hear what other people think or see anything in his mind like a gallery
so people passing by any kind of thought any kind of faces
everyday, he keeps hearing people wanting money, food, sex, to not being late got to their office, to buy this day's newspaper and on and on

But not today, there 5 man pass by
they looks like a working parter, which one is arabic, and other is chinese, indian, and jew and one looks like asian
he read them one by one he found that they have their own "road"
but the interesting part is one of them have nothing to worry
so he is going deeper to this guy's mind
now he is in that guy's mind gallery
nothing shows the answer what this guy thinking
but all he got is this huge banner with this word

"If i don't have to choose, Why should i?"

Thursday, May 7, 2009

God, You Really Love Me I Love You Too

a picture paint a thousand word isn't it?

And Vegetarianism Is How You Prevent Animal From Suffering. Not To Suffer Yourself

And how long you want to live in this world. Do you want to live longer?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Thank God, Most Mobile Phones Nowadays Charging Trough The USB Port. That Means i Can Use Yours Too

Do you know a word called Jealous
a simple word to say
but it expressing the incapability of one
let us say ME lately experiences the jealous word

Jealous when a couple walking from the opposite side holding each other hands
*an example i don't really remember when but when i saw a couple pass by they holding each other hand i stare at their hands from the farthest point till i turn my head and they smiling talking to each other till i can't saw them

Jealous for whom that can get famous
*don't really know why i always get jealous to them although i really really do not want to be a SINETRON actor hahahah But it's okay if i famous for being in a band hahah *whistle* you wish *whistle*

Jealous for whom that College National University and studying on Medicine program
*omg this is soooo exhausting. I really want it and i spent last year to learn it and on till now. But it is a bit heart shocking to hear someone younger than me studying on National University and on medicine program CUT ME OUT CUT ME OUT CUT ME IN THE CHEST! Hahahah

Jealous on someone who have an expensive drum set
*yea it happens even a music studio have better drum set than mine. My drumset called "J. Porcaro" which i modified become "U.D Jorro" (i forgot how i did it) and that's a crappy drumset. I planned to have a Gretsch 5 pieces drumset *wish me can get the money *cross finger

Jealous on someone who tall
*i'm short 5' 7" No further information

and that's jealous i think. It is someone incapability on something but i don't think my incapabilities as a border. But it motivates me to be "more than now"
Are You Motivated by your incapability?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Second Year, Time, Cannabis, Hollow, and Rush

Dudeee i want to go out and get a proper meal
lately my "assistant" didn't made anything to eat, my dad go out on the morning and that completes my suffer
i want to go out eat as many as i can and go to the gym get fit i got thinner when i was sick back then
since the bell screaming and the wind tear up the calmness
and i see nothing now
Me and stupid things have a really close relationship, and every stupid things i do was like every mouth said "Are you crazy?" and the word like a compliment to me
and i want to go out NOW i really mean now
but oops something crossing my mind. Many people ask me why i do not go to college and the answer is
"i think that i am a big palette and brush, looking for the canvass all my life"
i really didn't know what to do i really like music and stuff but like my father always said you can't depend on that thing all your life and i do think so
i really like to master something and when i become old i teach the others that need my skills
so in due course of that i just follow what my parents wanted from me and what they expect from me this last 2 years
i do enjoy it, i don't say that i didn't like it i like it but i was afraid of failing
failing to praise my mom and dad. Every second i do from last year i do it for my parents
in that way i show that i really care about them i want they both happy
and um there's a secret within this words read it carefully that i think i want to GIVE IT A TRY